As I sit here finishing my preparations for the Lunar New Year tomorrow I can’t help but look back on this past year. Lunar New Year has always been one of the most important holidays to our family next to Christmas and 4th of July. It was one that I welcomed Erik to be a […]
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
Soup and Sandwich
I met Paul and Joann for a “holiday” luncheon. Paul is Lee’s brother; Joanne is his wife. I hadn’t seen Paul for several months, and it is more than one year since I last saw Joanne. I had just finished parking my car and was about to feed a meter when I saw them exit […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
The Art of Thanksgrieving
How did everyone do with the Thanksgiving Holiday? I know Soaring Spirits is an organization with an international membership, so for some of you, it really was just “another day”. For many in the US, however, Thanksgiving is a day filled with the expectation of being surrounded by family, food and friends. I have had […]
Thanksgiving Sentiments
It’s Thanksgiving week in the US, and we are bombarded with messaging telling us how to feel. Well wishes telling us to be thankful, or to gather and enjoy each other. The first year, I was annoyed and angry. I wanted to scream when faced with messages of gratefulness. Do not tell me to be […]
Birthday Grief
Each year Tony’s birthday seems to hit me differently. Some people say the first year after losing someone is a fog. I think it only looks that way in hindsight. The first year is an onslaught of pain; around every corner is a reminder, each turn of the calendar is a new first without. Looking […]
Parting
Yesterday, I got a bill from the lawyer who handles my estate plan. I have been tweaking this plan from time to time and still need to confirm the most recent changes. It is a simple plan, given I don’t have a wife or kids to consider, but I seem to spend undue time agonizing […]
Exploring What Might Help
Today I wish to offer three simple tools to help those of us who are having an especially “off” day. Three fresh ideas or strategies for your back pocket at the ready in advance of your need. Difficult days arrive out of nowhere for new widowed people, or long-time widowed people. […]
Bittersweet Reminiscence
Reminiscing is a blessing and a curse. The number of people who will ever know Tony is finite and that number will never be larger than it is today. I enjoy recounting stories with those who knew him well because we are usually sharing the memory. Even when I’m given the space, it’s harder to […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me feel closest […]
As the Seasons Change
A repost as we get into the holiday season! The reality of the seasons changing is hitting me a little differently this year. This past week we took our family photos for the upcoming season and it was the first true holiday photo session I had joined in with the twins since Erik’s passing. It […]
Good Medicine for the Widowed:
The Intentional Community of Soaring Spirits One of the best medicines for widowed people is other widowed people. In Soaring Spirits we have access to Regional Social Groups! These groups exist across the country and Internationally in Bermuda, Dublin, and York/North Yorkshire. Every group looks, and functions, in their own unique way. We have park […]