As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday gift. Although, I did think my birthday was on the 28th of August for 13 years of […]
Widowed Birthdays
When Reality Hits
What a rollercoaster of a week it has been. Last Friday was both Erik’s and the twins’ birthdays. I used to love this day. How special it was that they shared a birthday with their father. How special Erik felt that he got his legacies as a birthday gift. Now I am conflicted about this […]
Just Another Birthday
This week I had another birthday – my 72nd. This year, no cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirt combo in a box. This birthday gift tradition ended when my sister passed away a few months ago. My mother and I share the identical birth date. While she was alive, she made a point to present me […]
Joy and Melancholy
Yesterday was my oldest son’s birthday. This Thursday will mark two years since Tony’s death. It is hard to hold both of those dates in my heart so close together. The date that we became parents for the first time with the date we all lost him. Joy and melancholy fold in on themselves. This […]
Happy Birthday to Beebs
Today is Lee’s birthday. She would have been 69 years old. I would not have forgotten. As soon as I glanced at the calendar the date’s significance would have jumped off the page. But the truth is that, until Tuesday, the quickly approaching special occasion had been out of mind for me. I was engaged […]
Another Birthday Letter to Boris
Boris, Today you should be turning 32. I feel like I need to catch you up on what life is like right now, on what would be your 32nd birthday, but I kind of feel like you already know? (I am not really sure how the Other Side/Heaven works) Long story short, the world is […]
Taking the Longview
It is pretty special to be able to post on the occasion of my birthday. I note that today, Saturday January 14, is also Organize Your Home Day, an Awareness Observances that encourages us to declutter our homes, lives and ultimately our minds. Last year, on this very day, my family house in Hackensack, New […]
Dear Boris, it’s the holiday season again.
Dear Boris, It’s the holiday season, which means a lot of things. It means everyone is feeling excited and cozy, and things feel busy and stressful. And I always loved the holidays until you died. And the holidays now have a sting. They might always hurt a little, even if the joy of the holidays […]
Birthdays Can Be The Worst Days
Last Wednesday was Tony’s 2nd birthday since his passing. He should have been 45 but he is immortalized at 43. Having already checked off a birthday without him last year, I thought I was mentally ready for this day. I was wrong. When I woke up on the 2nd, I felt the weight of the […]
The Unconclusive Conclusion
While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]
A Pyrenean Adventure Written in Thumb and Swype
27 August 2022 I thought I would pull together the various updates I posted on to Facebook when I had occasional internet access during our Pyrenean Haute Route – begun last summer, and completed this year. Inspired by my dad John and my uncle Ian who completed it in well into their 60s (in one […]
happy birthday babe
in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]