Days of the “goo” were common, in the first days of grief in spring 2021. Goo refers to what happens to caterpillars after they close themselves up in a cocoon. They liquify and live in the liminal space of “no longer this” and “not yet that” — I relate to those words. The transformation that […]
healing for widowed
Working Woman Still
When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard. The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job. He was right. I don’t have great boundaries sometimes and the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, are when I […]
A Story of Widowed Life
as told by the Nasturtiums Signs of spring are everywhere in Riverside, California. Today’s post is a story board, courtesy of a magical plant whose leaves are a story in and of themselves. Studying a nasturtium leaf brings to mind images of fairies hiding beneath, or tiny creatures using the leaf as an umbrella amid […]
Valentines, Valentines, Valentines Everywhere . . .
. . . it’s here again In trying to take stock of Valentine’s Day past, memory is fuzzy. Images come forward of our last V-Day together… Family room with hospital bed set up Candles Decorative hearts abound Did we eat? It seems a blip on the radar screen of a long goodbye with no clear […]
Inspiration from
The Widow Clicquot Who was 4 and a half feet tall with light colored hair and grey eyes and stormed the champagne industry during the French Revolution? That’s right! Barbe-Nicole: The Lady Herself Barbe-Nicole was widowed in 1805, at the age of 23. Women of that time were not allowed to run a business, but […]
Reflections on Grief
From Toko-Pa Turner Gift from the new year — a single piece of paper with quotes about grief from Toko-Pa Turner’s book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home. There is nothing on the paper to say where it came from who typed it if it was a gift to me or . . . ??? I find […]
Regrouping After Trauma
Step By Step Professionals who write about trauma these days say that when a person experiences a trauma (small or large) it is important to allow the trauma to “keep moving through” our psyche. Last week I experienced a trauma that bumped into a bigger trauma that looms in my life—Death. Death was present in […]
In Between
and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid. Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living. In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now. Tomorrow is back again already. Trying to stay in the now. And still keep up as […]
Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays
In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season since Dan left us. This morning, I am thinking about some who may be reading this that it is their […]
Art as a Tool for Healing
An Invitation Making art—giving form to the images that arise in our mind’s eye, our dreams, and our everyday lives—is a form of spiritual practice through which knowledge of ourselves can ripen into wisdom. Pat B. Allen, PhD Art is a Way of Knowing. There is a hidden secret about art that may benefit those […]
Medicine From the Body
Scrolling Facebook recently, I came upon this brilliant bit of medicine by John Roedel. Thank you, John, for this viral post. Deep bow to you. The world consents to the wisdom in these words. Note: The art of this piece is in both the words and in their placement. Due to limitations I am experiencing […]
Fall Down Seven Times
Stand Up Eight On this early morning I am thinking about death. The loss of my beloved life-partner demonstrated death to me on the closest level possible. Which takes me to the next thought, I, too, will die. Thoughts such as this come without warning, arriving like fog. One day they are far from your […]