Or Have They?

There are plenty of things about widowhood that are “stage” reliant. How many days, weeks, or months its been since our person died. How many years since they left us. But the category of “things they missed” seems to come round no matter the specifics of time.

It’s a category that never becomes outdated.

Rites of Passage arrive with regularity throughout the ages. The living live on in spite of how much we wish to turn the clock back; making our person’s death a nightmare we’ll wake up from.

People who loved our person get married, have children, get degrees, learn to water ski, climb Mt. Whitney, birth a doctorate, master other languages, travel the world, and eventually leave the planet.

What is it like for our person that all this occurs in their absence?

What do I believe?

What is helpful?

Does it matter?

Last week our first great-grandbaby was born.

Our eldest granddaughter birthed the next generation. A beautiful baby boy which made me a first-time great-grandmother. Was it only just two and a half years since Dan teased our granddaughter asking, “When are you going to make me a great-grandpa?” Less than three years ago when I shushed him? Not quite three years when she graciously allowed him that privilege? Time truly does NOT wait for us.

Throughout several days, several phone calls flew through the air waves between Los Angeles and Riverside. In one call, Michele and I were talking about Phillip and Dan missing the great-grandbaby moment.

I began to wonder . . . how do we know they missed it?

It’s easy to imagine them hanging out near the ceiling when the baby arrived.

Is Dan flashing the great-grandpa card beyond the veil?

I miss you, my love, and I truly believe you are still a part of me….and Caitlin….and her precious baby boy.