A Conversation I see you, fear. I see you once again and say ‘hey’ formidable crafty opposer. Mess-making friend who turns the neatly arranged inner furniture up-side-down and brings all manner of havoc to me— unbidden. You arrive at my door in many costumes; posing beneath a plethora of masks and feelings; […]
healing for widowed
Sleep Remedy
Up at night? What to do? Stare at the ceiling? Worry? Go online? Or try something new . . . A stream of consciousness writing exercise called Writing Practice. Created by a writing teacher for those who love to write but don’t know what to write about. Here’s how it works […]
What is Grief?
One Person’s Take GRIEF I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather there […]
What happens when widowed people gather to find hope?
COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of widowed support at a time when there was none to be found. With a mind for ideas, and a […]
(Leaving You) On The Hook
Do you ever have such a busy week that you forget what day it is? This is me. This week. Forgetting what day it is (Blog Day) and scrambling to say something meaningful about a concept that is a treasure in my life and one of my highest values: Community But guess what!?!? […]
A Community of Widowed People
Powerful Medicine for Broken Hearts [COMMUNITY: Part 5] “What are you seeking?” they asked. “I just want to find normal again,” they answered. To survive the loss of the person with whom we thought, hoped, and planned to grow old with is the challenge of widowed people. Whether we were partnered […]
What is Intentional Community?
Traveling the Path Together [COMMUNITY: Part 3] I experienced intentional community for the first time in 1979. It changed my life. “Some come to talk, others come to listen,” the leader said. “Most do a bit of both. Engage here in whatever way feels comfortable for you. We’re glad you’re here.” […]
Common Feelings and Attitudes
Along the Path of Grief [COMMUNITY: Part 2] The role of feelings in grief is huge. Feelings impact us when they are present, absent, strong, subtle, frozen, overwhelming, invisible, or constantly changing. The famous writer, C.S.Lewis, describes the changing nature of feelings through his own experience. “No one ever told me that grief […]
Considering the Impossible
and Finding Possibility [COMMUNITY: Part 1] You Don’t Move On But you must move ‘with’ you must shake hands with Grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her […]
Anatomy of a Four Letter Word
. . . FEAR I rather envy those who don’t seem to have a lot of fears. Even if it is “not noticing” or “tuning it out” it is a skill that might be helpful at times for someone like me. I notice everything and kind of suck at tuning things out. As a young […]
As I Enter Twenty Twenty-Four
A Brief List of Happenings This year I eschewed a few traditions. “No,” I told my children, “I am not depressed; not avoiding you; not in a funk. Just changing it up for New Year’s 2024.” It was the opposite of being in a funk. Recently, I resolved to face any problems full-on and to […]
Marking Time
Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50 years + 9 months) when no one thought these two crazy kids would make it […]