“Mom look!” She’s not timid. She’s not afraid. She walks into my office in her first bikini. Until this moment she had never worn one, never as a baby, toddler or little girl. Until this moment she only wore board shorts and rash guards. She has never worn one as the daughter of Art.Two weeks after her 11th birthday she asked for one. I waited for…
healing for widowed
what am i doing?
you know what’s not easy? talking about what happened on march 25th, 2008 over and over and over and over again. (you people know this better than anyone).i lived it. i wrote about it and now i’m reading it out loud to crowds of people i wouldn’t know if it hadn’t happened to me, to us, a little more than three years ago. i thought it …
One of THE Most Difficult ….
…. Posts I’ve Ever Written. Something has changed. And I wasn’t even aware of it until 2 days ago. Which is kind of freaking me out, because this change was huge. So huge that it stunned me when I realized it. Literally. And then I wondered how I felt about it. I felt horrible and yet a little relieved at the same time. And I kept this change…
A Personal Look at Death and Resurrection
Resurrection is the theme of the day for Christians everywhere. But whether this day is a religious celebration for you, or a bunny hop, or just another Sunday…those of us who grieve have a unique knowledge of the experience of death and resurrection. Because when our loved one died, we did too. The person who did not know what living in a…
The Wall
“But mostly, I cried because my life had been going full speed for so long and now it had just stopped, like running right into a big brick wall, knocking the wind and the fight right out of me. And I didn’t know if I’d ever even wanted to get up and start breathing again.” – Sarah Dessen This quote embodies the day I was notified and the…
“It Can’t Take Away What You’ve Lost ….
Jim and me …. at the huge surprise party he managed to truly pull off, for my 40th. … but it is something.” The above title and sentence was a line from last night’s episode of “E.R.”.* It stopped me …… I literally stopped and stared at the screen. And no, it wasn’t because it was George Clooney who said it. He was playing his…
Ranting & Raving. But Not Mad.
I sat earlier in the week in my parent’s living room. I watched as my mother struggled to move about the house with her walker. I watched as my father tried to anticipate her every move. I saw how carefully he has to think about where she will sit, and will she feel comfortable there. I sat as she talked about her pain. I sat as her thoughts became…
How Did You Two Meet?
Recently I spent eight days with one of my favorite people in the world. You all know her as our Tuesday blogger, I call her tacalla. You’ve heard one or the other of us use that term here on the blog (tacalla is the Spanish word for two things that share the same name), as a way of explaining our shared Michel/lleness. Just imagine for a minute…
Through the Pensieve
I’m fresh back from a wonderful week of vacation (thanks Chris for guest blogging last week – great post!!). I went on a cruise and visited three tropical islands. By odd coincidence, the stop in St. Thomas fell on Daniel’s 41st birthday. This coincidence is only odd because St. Thomas was one of his favorite places, and I’d never been there. We’d…
Remembering
I was looking for the perfect quotation or saying for a friend going through her hero’s angel-versary and came across this excerpt. May you remember your love in the best of times and worst…and may your lives be enhanced through that action…As the four year mark creeps up on me, remembrance has been one thing to get me through the present.This…
give me a reason
In any tragedy, early loss or hard lesson, we look for a reason behind it. The “why”. Over the last three years I have searched for the explanation, or rationale, for Jeff’s death and all the aftermath of his loss. Not the reason written on his autopsy certificate or the coroner’s report. Something deeper. Something less concrete but still as…
one week from today.
i’m one week away from the day that my gift to madeline becomes something that people will publicly judge, both positively and negatively. some will praise the “story,” some will criticize the writing. some will find something to relate to and others will wonder how the hell i “did it.” i’m ready for all of that, but more than …