Another week has passed, and I’ve had some more time to reflect back on the NYE experience I had with a guy. It was the first person I became physical with since my fiancé. You’ll recall, he had less than admirable intentions with me – which he hid well. Intentions which I found out after several dates and a lot of letting my guard down.
widowed ending new relationship
Goodbyes
“I hate goodbyes” Every time Dave and I would say goodbye for more than a day or so, we’d reenact this scene from Dumb and Dumber. I’m in the disorienting world of goodbyes again as I navigate the end to the first real relationship I’ve attempted since Dave died. Fortunately I have the most amazing friends who have helped keep me afloat but the…
One of THE Most Difficult ….
…. Posts I’ve Ever Written. Something has changed. And I wasn’t even aware of it until 2 days ago. Which is kind of freaking me out, because this change was huge. So huge that it stunned me when I realized it. Literally. And then I wondered how I felt about it. I felt horrible and yet a little relieved at the same time. And I kept this change…
This Time ….
…. I chose it. Yep, this time I chose grief. Although, in my defense ….. I really didn’t know I’d be experiencing grief. I thought it might be more cut and dried ….. but considering the amount of tears I’ve shed since Friday, it’s anything but dried. I ended our relationship. We ended our relationship. I instigated the “talk”, but it was…
Wild Crazy Lonely Shame
I’m lonely. For several weeks I have been breathing in loneliness and exhaling it too. It soaks me in its wet, heavy haziness. Every time I look anywhere, there is a couple, together, sharing a joke, a small gentle familiar kiss, a rest of a familiar hand on the small of a back, the lack of space between themand all I can do was sigh. When will…
Romance, the Second Time Around ….
….. is not a walk in the freakin’ park. Don’t get me wrong …. it can certainly be wonderful ….. but it also can really piss me off.I tend to get pissed at Jim a lot now …. for dying and leaving my in this position. I wouldn’t have to be dating someone new if he hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be getting angry at how different this man is if he…