Traditions, Rituals, and Memory Making Where do we begin? How does one start a new tradition or ritual for one’s self or for a family? How does making memories help? As holidays appear and then move on, how do we fill the empty place where our person is missing? GRIEF I had my own […]
Widowed
Aloneness … Loneliness, Solitude or Isolation?
Aloneness – I had not heard this word until after I was widowed. It feels bigger than loneliness, more all encompassing. It felt right for me back in 2010 and feels right for me now. I do know I can be happy living alone … it took awhile but I eventually found it after Vern […]
Flashbacks
It’s weird how a flash of seemingly nothing can transport you back in time. One minute I’m running errands, crossing off my mental to do list, and the next I’m back in 2021. I don’t even know what prompted it. It could have been anything though; a song on the radio, a task he used […]
To Holiday Decorate or Not To Holiday Decorate?
I still don’t know if I am going to put up even a fraction of the massive amount of XMas decorations I have… Lynn came into our relationship with bins and bins of XMas decorations, a set and a half of a Dept 56 XMas Village, and all the Santa themed items under the sun. […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Am I Still Considered ‘Newly Widowed’ …
… since this is the second time I’ve lost my husband? I actually hadn’t thought about giving myself that label until someone suggested it. But Jim died just 9 weeks ago – so, of course, I am newly widowed. Since I went through all of this 15 years ago, perhaps I’m better prepared this time. […]
Holiday Travel
I’m sorry I bailed on everyone last week. It was on my mental to do list to request a repost blog, but I didn’t write it down. Most of us suffer from forgetfulness in widowhood and I am no exception. When I finally remembered I forgot to send that email, it was late Monday afternoon, […]
The Last Thanksgiving
(Reposting from 2023, since every Thanksgiving I can’t help but this of this last one with Mario. Actual Thanksgiving this year I just spent a few hours with my mom and had leftovers from the Friendsgiving spread I did on Wednesday.) Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that […]
Two Times …
I lost my husband 15 years ago. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. Yes, both of those statements are true. Twice widowed. Not something most of us would choose willingly, is it? But I did. I was quite vocal about never dating after Vern died. I wrote about it in my blog, I shared […]
Old Messages on Messenger
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August 12, 2009, and said “to see how this works.” There is only a small handful of random […]
249 Weeks
I’m still processing the grief of losing my cat and I’ve just been uninspired to write this week, so it’s going to be one those freeform type of posts that jump from topic to topic. First, I find myself saying, “I can’t believe how fast this …. week, month, year….” Has gone by way too […]
The Written Word
I have been sitting here staring at a blank slate. From time to time, producing a new piece for this blog each Thursday can be a source of anxiety. Writing for you is a serious responsibility; one I take seriously. Writing here scratches my itch, yet, at the same time, the Widow’s Voice blog imposes […]