Photo my own – on my facebook feed, from 7 years ago (21 June 2014) Megan & Julia playing flute & oboe at our village Fete de la Musique concert I have just read a HuffPost article about how differently the “Back to Normal” phrase can be received by people, depending on what you’ve been […]
Widowed
The Evolution of Grief (part 3 of many)
After 4.7 years, I can write to you and say that I actually like my life again. And, I am almost sort of “happy” once again too. I have come to accept my life without him; and, I am also excited about my future. These are all things that I could not imagine when Mike first died. But, alas, I am a very different widow than the one who began writing to you in 2018. Early on, I created mantras for myself so that I could somehow survive in a world where he is not. Once upon a time I used to say, “love got me here, and love will get me through”. And… it has. I was right. Love (in all its forms) for the win.
Levels in Life
Clayton, I gave the bike away. The one you gave me for Christmas. I was going to ride it to work but life. Right? You got sick. I needed to have my car so I could get back to you as fast as possible each of every “our last days” and then you died – […]
Missing our Papa on Father’s Day
What happens on Father’s Day for the family whose Papa has passed on to another dimension? Is there a way to connect from afar? When my dad passed away in 1994 I wondered, with my siblings, how we could live in a world where he was missing. Each child whose father–or special person–has passed on […]
Navigating Multiple Worlds
Image by Denise Jans on Unsplash It’s been a choppy week. A choppy week full of choppy days. I feel I have been on a constant dance, in and out of multiple worlds. Which is not quite how it might sound, in that I have not actually been in a coma, bordering on this life […]
Your Touch (edited 2021)
Touch has helped bring me further present. It has helped reawaken me to the moment I am living in. Touch has resuscitated me in ways that nothing else can. Touch has given me the air I need when I was struggling to breath life back into myself. For me, touch has been healing in a new a different ways.
Touch has brought me back in touch with my humanness. I have allowed myself to acknowledged that I am still alive. And, because I draw breathe, my skin still hungers for the touch of another human being. Touch in and of itself is just that. It is not love, but it is something. And, sometimes a nebulous thing is really a big deal.
The Care Griever
Summer has hit on the beautiful stretch of Florida beach I call home. The area is buzzing with tourists and that means I’m hanging close to home for the busy season at work. My career is animal care. This week I had friends staying just a bit to the east of me about an hour […]
FIRST STEPS
Author’s Note: Thank you, Alison, for your warm welcome last week. You will be greatly missed here and I will join others in following you at http://anodysseyoflove.com/ to keep up with your adventures and new endeavors. Hope we meet up somewhere in the future. Thank you for sharing your love for Chuck so beautifully. xo~Kathie […]
Discharging Guilt
Main image by Callum Skelton on Unsplash One of Julia’s best friends, whose family asked me very directly, some six months after her death, never to contact them again, turned up unexpectedly at my door about 10 days ago. The door was wide open, and I only knew she was there because of the dog’s […]
Wanderlust Revisited
I need to see new things. And, also, see the same things – somewhere else. I need to stand on different street corners. And, walk roads that lead to new people and places. I need to breathe the air – somewhere else. Anywhere else. I feel like I am holding my breath, Living here in […]
My Road to Return
I have been having a near death experience. You know, where your life flashes in front of you, all the memories, sights, sounds and smells. That rewind reminder, which puts your whole past into a present perspective. No, there wasn’t an accident or anything sudden, my near death experience has been almost undetectable. How so? […]
The Box (Part Two)
Lee kept her wedding box at the top of her closet, which I had been in the process of reclaiming from her when I found it. I say her wedding box because she was not keeping it for our mutual benefit. I did not know it existed. I opened the lid and looked inside the […]