This past weekend the twins and I had the privilege of being part of my cousin’s wedding. She’s one of my best friends and my soul sister. I found that weddings have been particularly hard since Erik’s passing. It’s always a harsh reminder that the person we have lost is not there with us. But […]
Widowed
My Bad
Welp, it finally happened. After writing a Monday post for this blog 112 times, I forgot. I’m not even that mad at myself for it. In fact, I am patting myself in the back for remembering to write or have my week covered consistently for that long. Widow brain or not, I have made this […]
Making the Best of It
I’m not sure when my mindset changed about making the best of a situation I perceive as undesirable (or actually bad), but I’m pretty sure it was post Mario, but I’m not sure exactly why. Maybe it’s one of those, “don’t sweat the small stuff” type of things kicking in since I’ve already been through […]
Comparing Grief Confessions
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after […]
Putting You to Rest
A repost! Lately, time has seemed to tick by so fast, mostly during these ‘ber’ months. Something this past weekend made me realize how quickly the twins are growing up and how it just feels like each month is slipping away, yet my mind still takes me back to those early months after Erik passed. […]
Journaling
Over the years, I’ve definitely been someone who likes to journal. Journaling for me embodies a way to just write absolutely anything that may be on my mind. I don’t worry about style or grammar or any of that fun stuff that I’m more concerned about when I’m writing for other people to read it. […]
The Many Masks of Grief
. . . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step in my grief? Another reality check? (I check the calendar…is this an anniversary my body is remembering?) […]
Where is your Dad?
A repost! Today during school pickup a little girl from the twins’ class ran up to me and started pulling at my jacket. As I was in the middle of hugging Charlotte, I didn’t pay her much attention. She kept pulling on my jacket as persistent as ever. So I looked down at her smiled […]
Favorites Saved
I let go of something this week. I removed Tony from my ‘Favorites’ list in my contacts. For three years, every time I opened my phone to make a call he sat at the top of that list. A reminder that no matter the news, I could not share it with him. It was time […]
An Eye Opener:
Worldwide Widowed Communities What took me to stories about widowed folk around the world? Just returned from a mini-vacay where I had no responsibilities other than showing up for the fun. Arriving home to my regular routine, settling into the normal challenges of my post-Dan-life, I found myself wondering about the lives of […]
Sea of Serendipity
Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing. I guess it comes with the territory of being a solo parent. Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself […]
A Heart for a Smile
My parents received an extended family photo session for Christmas. The plan was to have the pictures taken this spring. The session would include my parents, my brother and his family, and my boys and me. However, finding a spring date that aligned with all five grandkids extra-curricular activities was not easy. Admittedly, my kids’ […]