I often notice couples’ togetherness as I travel the spaces of my life as a single person. That’s likely because I am not wholly comfortable in my singlehood. I am independent and capable of being solo. However, I enjoyed being married and partnered. When I spot a young couple drunk on love, I feel nostalgic. […]
Widowed
Feeling all the Feels
How Grief Impacts Feelings At age 26, I received a helpful definition for feelings. You may be thinking that could be a bit late in life to receive information about something that impacts life on a daily basis and you would be right. Regardless of timing, I gratefully received this definition. “Feelings are spontaneous, inner […]
Never Alone
I remember my first Camp Widow like it was yesterday. It was around 8 months after Erik had passed. I was sitting on the same couch that I couldn’t seem to move from and had this overwhelming feeling that I was all alone. There wasn’t anyone in my circle that was a widow and at […]
2800 A Day
On July 20th, I walked out of Michele Neff Hernandez’s keynote address at Camp Widow in San Diego to a text message indicating bad news back home. Thankfully, the text indicated my kids were okay. As I rode the escalator to a quieter part of the hotel my mind raced through scenarios of what the […]
Camp Widow:
A Fine Champagne On the Move A mere 77,999 days ago a widow changed the face of widowhood. Madame Clicquot, known as the “Grande Dame of Champagne” was a French Champagne producer. She took on her husband’s wine business when widowed at 27. Under her ownership, and her skill with wine, the company developed early […]
The Gift of Camp Widow
in San Diego once again! The first Camp Widow showed up as “The First Annual National Conference on Widowhood.” Take a moment and consider that we’re celebrating the 16th year of Camp Widow this coming weekend. Many more than sixteen camps have endured. Add to that Canada and Australia—Wow! All major accomplishments that started […]
Insignificant, Yet Significant
There are just some things that I can’t seem to part with. For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get rid of a set of bath towels that the twins have been using. It has definitely seen some better days. For some reason, I just can’t seem to say goodbye to something […]
Four Words
It’s time for me to prep for Camp Widow in San Diego this week. There are lots of tasks to get myself ready to be away from home for almost 5 days. Packing myself, scheduling the kids with grandparents, lining out their schedules, the list goes on. Last week, I received a survey from Soaring […]
One of Us
At 4:17am on July 9th, my mom became one of us. My dad succumbed to the traumatic brain injury sustained in the wreck on June 30th. They were married for 65 years. They got on each others nerves at points, but stuck it out together till death did they part. It’s a good thing I’m […]
Summertime
and it is HOT in Riverside, California! Awakening to climbing temperatures that announce at 6:00 am another hot day on the way. I rise to turn on the fans. Oddly the first thought is about the heat and not about my widowed status. You see, there are many […]
July Blues
Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July 2nd of the year Erik passed was supposed to be our “Christmas in July” vow renewal. These important dates […]
Fireworks
This is the fourth, 4th of July we’ve celebrated without Tony. It doesn’t feel as devastating as it did the first few years. While it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, I still find myself thinking about him throughout the holiday. On the 4th, our youngest was recovering from a cold so we […]