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Anatomy of a Problem.

Posted on: June 12, 2024 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

I am raccoon-less, feeling grateful, and wondering about problems and solutions.

Picture this. The Indian Ocean is splashing fiercely at the edge of a home during a storm.

It quickly  fills the bottom floor with sea water.

Clearly a problem, right?

Or not.

Light blue ocean water with white foam.
Image by Christoffer Engström via unsplash.com

 

Today, I googled “what are the problems people have?” with this result:

  1. Health Crisis
  2. Workplace Issues
  3. Emptiness
  4. Friendship Issues
  5. Failure
  6. Financial Crisis
  7. Career Pressure
  8. Unfair treatment
  9. Lack of inner peace
  10. Mental Health Issues

Two things they did not mention:

Death of a spouse.

Racoons living under your house.

 

Yes, the raccoons are gone! Three little babies and one weary mama left the nest for the wide world of trees and sky. Their leaving was in secret. Uneventful, in the end.

Sometimes that happens with problems. They get solved without fanfare and we are left in the comfort of relief. The world feels like a brand new place when the problem disappears.

 

What are the physical attributes of a problem?

 

Let’s give it a go and see where it takes us.

  1. Problem arrives
  2. Life is impacted by the problem’s presence.
  3. Problems have a mysterious timeline.
  4. The interactive quality of problems connects with human nervous systems.
  5. Problems come in different sizes.
  6. The problem exists and then grows or is solved.
  7. Problems impact solving skills.
  8. Nature and nurture impact problem-solving abilities.
  9. Facing problems in healthy ways increases our problem-solving aptitude.
  10. Problems exist undefined and are not universally seen as difficult.

 

Likely an imperfect list, but it is a starting place.

 

I have questions.

  1. Do problems grow out of unsolved past problems?
  2. Do problem-solving skills grow out of facing problems?
  3. Are problems necessary?

Turns out there is an actual case study featured in the popular film, My Octopus Teacher. Craig Foster explains in the beginning of the film that he grew up in a house that was regularly taken over by the sea.

“Craig grew up on the tip of Africa in an area known as the Cape of Storms in a wooden bungalow pretty much IN the Indian Ocean. Waves would crash into their house during bigger storms, filling the young boy with the feeling of adventure.

He would go diving in the kelp forest. “My childhood memories are completely dominated by the rocky shore, the intertidal, and the kelp forest.” —Andrew Barry, The Curious Lion

 

What makes one child traumatized by that scene and another “filled with adventure”? This hints at the nurture/nature question. Craig clearly does not report it as a problem. His parents apparently agreed as they did not move away from their connection to the sea.

The man who grew up in the sea-flood discovered an octopus teacher. He learned his skills in a storm flooded home. What’s the problem?

The exploration continues next week . . .

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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