I missed yet another virtual Widow’s Voice meetup tonight (I’ve been to ONE), not because I don’t want to hang out with those folks, but because I’ve done too much “people-ing” today.
Introverts are seriously misunderstood. So many people think that we are just socially awkward or shy and that is what original caused the introvert tendencies.
In the 1920’s, Carl Jung described introverts as turning to their own minds to recharge, while extroverts turn to other people (I’ve always said extroverts were energy vampires!). But it’s certainly not as simple as that. And like just about everything else, there is a spectrum. Some introverts can have extrovert tendencies in specific situations. For example, get me talking on a topic I find really fascinating and I’m not quite and reserved–I’m animated and engaged. Still, if you put me in front of a crowd to talk about something I’m interested in, I’m still putting on a massive act to get through it. I do not like all the attention on me.
When it comes to social situations, I’ve been to parties, clubs, bars, concerts, festivals, raves, you name it, but I mostly did that in my 20s and 30s when I just pushed through because that’s what all of my friends were doing. That’s not to say I didn’t have a hell of a lot of fun doing all that, because I did, but even back then, it took me a while to bounce back, energetically. Also, adding alcohol into the mix was definitely a variable in my case that could squash some of the introvert tendencies for a short time.
Now, though? I’ve fully grown into my introvertism. I’ve embraced my hermit tendencies. I honestly feel rather lucky at this point because even as a widowed person, I don’t suffer from loneliness. I have friends and family and I enjoy my time spent with them, but I also very much enjoy my time spent by myself.
When I came across this “meme” awhile back I just had to laugh out loud because it’s totally me.
It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you, it’s that you’ve probably caught me at a time where I’m very appreciative of my solitude. I also might be coming off a week where I’ve over done it with having to be “on” or having to interact with a lot of people. I just need to spend some time by myself, alone in the forest or on the beach, thank you very much.
One of the more interesting things about being an introvert is when you become friends with another introvert.
You can literally vibe off one another and not feel that same drain you do when you’re around an extrovert. Although, I even get along pretty well with what’s known as an ambivert–someone who has both introvert and extrovert tendencies. I find that these folks can at least understand where I’m coming from when I say something like, “I’ve had too much exposure to people lately”.
Trying to explain to an extrovert why you are the way you are or that you actually enjoy solitude and being by yourself can be tough.
Those are the folks that always seem to think that you’re secretly depressed or very troubled and lonely. Of course there can be introverts with depression and loneliness but those things hit differently when you’re an introvert. Also, I never take offense to someone actually caring about my well-being.
Anyway, I’m just fine over here, hanging with my cats.
