in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]
Newly Widowed
A Guest House – A Birthday –
and Two Questions How is it possible that Dan’s birthday–the second since his death–is already coming up eleven days from now? Surreal. As a mom of seven, I am used to the arrival of ideas from one or another of my children. How to accomplish one solution or another…what flourishes to add–or ways to contain–an […]
Yay!
For All of Us! We take off our wedding rings… (or) We leave them on… (or) We wear our ring on our neck… We don’t believe in an after-life… (or) We believe our partner is near and talk to our person every day…. (or) We find meaning in places our person has been […]
Fall Down Seven Times
Stand Up Eight On this early morning I am thinking about death. The loss of my beloved life-partner demonstrated death to me on the closest level possible. Which takes me to the next thought, I, too, will die. Thoughts such as this come without warning, arriving like fog. One day they are far from your […]
Camp Crash is Real
and so are Daily Life Crashes Camp Widow San Diego had everything. Mild San Diego weather, California’s sun and surf, and 300+ folks who know exactly how hard widowhood can be. After the last workshop ended, I had a strong collection of ideas, practices, and suggestions for life back at home. I was in great […]
Camp Widow San Diego 2022
Gratitude, Respect, and Wonder Camp Widow is a wrap and the value of storytelling is strong in my being. Images are vivid in my mind. I’m remembering the Well Loved photos of our persons who are honored front-and-center throughout the entire event. I’m thinking about the messages of compassion, help, and hope which met us […]
Widowed Time
A Treasure to be Discovered 7am – the hot summer day barely peeks into my view…when you live in Cali, specifically Riverside, you can tell early on if it will be a hot one. I sit in the sort-of dining room / never quite an office / former in-between-nothing-room and put down words on a […]
o grief
you trip me up o grief you sneak up on me you fool me you trip me up o grief you catch me unawares you pretend a thing is okay you trick me o grief you seem to be at a distance you move in close you sabotage me o grief gimme […]
July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary
Happy Anniversary, my love. Just a couple of kids who fell in love and were married just out of high school. Who knew we’d spend 51+ years together on this earth? A spark made it possible. The spark dimmed at times, but it never went completely out. We learned how to re-ignite it. We had […]
I’ll Be Seeing You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l44_n60QQ8 I’ll be seeing you just yesterday you reminded me of your presence when a monarch butterfly came so close to me…flew into the garage and looked around….at the story, when the paint brushes I need showed up in the most unlikely place . . . I am seeing you . . . In all […]
Year Two: Taking Stock
DEFINITION OF “TAKING STOCK” : to carefully think about something in order to make a decision about what to do next 1) We need to take stock of our life now and again. 2) She took stock of her life as she passed the 2-year mark of widowhood. KN Definition & Meaning with Merriam-Webster Today […]
Standing at the Doorstep
Of Liminal Space In that liminal space, between what we know and what we can’t imagine, we are remade. –ludwig.guru Standing in front of a closed door reminds me of mystery. What is behind the door? Who might be on the other side of the door? What does the door open into….a large open room? […]