I met Christina Rasmussen, from Second Firsts, early in my widowhood, on her first book tour. She was in Boston and I was in NH, so I drove to the book store holding the event, and heard her speak for the first time. It didn’t change the emotions of my widowhood, but her words, her philosophy about life after loss touched me deeply. It was my…
Widowed Signs from Loved One
Mom’s Pajamas
Megan spent a lot of time in her pajamas. It kind of came with the territory, spending so much time in the hospital. When she was home, she often wasn’t nearly at 100%, so being in her pajamas was comfortable, warm, and easy. If there was no need to been seen in public, she figured, why get all dressed up and ready? Pajamas made sense. She…
Paradox
Anniversaries are, in general, a prompt for looking back. They’re an annual reminder to be reminded of the past. While oftentimes, an anniversary is also a milestone, it still remains that, simply put, an anniversary measures the passage of time. They don’t really MEAN anything to widows. Our person is neither more, nor less dead on…
Their Stories are Still Being Written
There are surreal little things lately about my life lately. About getting together for coffee with girlfriends recently, who are eager to see the new engagement ring and hear all about Mike’s proposal. Surreal because part of me still thinks something will go wrong before we ever get to a wedding. Part of me is wary of that… how could I not…
Where Are You?
I often think I have come to accept that Mike is gone. For quite a while my conscious mind and unconscious mind had not synced and often confused if he was here, just gone for a bit but coming back, or gone completely. It hadn’t processed on all levels. That’s not the case now. I don’t forget that he’s dead anymore. I don’t have to have…
Where Are They?
Where are they… The ones we loved in life, love still, in death? Where do they go when they leave our sides? Do they exist in a far away Universe, Unseen and unseeable? Carried only in memory, That shows itself in the wind, In clouds tinged with the colors of a sunrise or sunset? Do they see us as we wish for them? Do they hear our cries of…
Malbec Part 2
Like a good vintage wine, last weeks blog, Malbec, requires a second harvest. Over the last seven days, I have changed my mind about a few things and, now, I am offering up another tasting – this tasting is paired with hindsight. A week ago, I shared my ritual of holding out my hands, searching and reaching for him. In my own words I…
Aloha and Mahalo
One of the things I’ve learned – one of the great many things I’ve learned since becoming a widow is that life is change. All things shift, turn on their heads, ebb and flow, and come to an end. We can’t stop it though we may try. I might have thought I understood that before Mike died, but now I really get it. Because something has happened…
It’s Complicated – Repost
While I am away, I am reposting a blog from 2014. Interesting how some things never change. Recently I’ve had people say to me, when they learn I’ve been widowed, well, you know he’ll always be with you. I know they say that with all the best intentions…and in a way, I agree, because yes, he will always be in my heart. But it’s not as easy as…
What if…
Do our souls live on when the body dies? It’s one of the biggest questions widowed people will be faced with on their journey… and anyone who has been faced with death. We all find our own answers in our own ways to this. For some of us, it is our belief in a religion or faith. For others, it is confirmation from a medium who brings us clear…