It’s official, as a solo parent free time in December doesn’t exist. Thank goodness I put my humbug down last week because time is flying now. After I vented in my blog post last Monday about not getting the tree out yet. I pushed myself to drag the tree up from the basement. I enlisted […]
Widowed Emotions
Showing Up
to Meet the Magic It all started with remembering how my late husband, an extrovert, was so great about having energy for everything. Last minute gathering with our kids? No problem. Just tell me where and when. Holiday fun in town, or out of town, or two events in a row? Bring it on! My […]
Yes, You Can
Lately, with the holiday season coming into full swing I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed. Another holiday season without Erik. Another holiday season where I’m the solo parent trying to create this magical joyful season for my kids when I feel very much the opposite. I’ve thought long and hard about scaling back Christmas. […]
Oh Christmas Tree
I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree. A space has been cleared and the tree skirt has been sitting on the floor for […]
Getting Back on the Write Road and a Tribute to Lonnie Hull Dupont
As I resettle in to life in to life in a log home in rural Florida, my creativity is encouraged by the slower pace of life and natural beauty of this area. Unpacking more boxes, I recently came upon a stash of books, mostly animal-rescue anthologies published by the Revell-Baker Group to which I’d contributed […]
Unexpected Weeping Session
Arrives as Gift It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than a pack of small dogs sounding an alarm at close range. Were they being corralled? Or ostracized from being cozy […]
Sailing the Seas
Last year after we celebrated the twins’ birthday for the first year without Erik, I realized sitting in the quiet aftermath of the party that I did not want to do this anymore moving forward. I didn’t want to throw birthday parties the way we used to, without my husband, mostly as the twins share […]
Entering My Cat Lady Era
Welp. I am no longer a cat lady without any cats. A week and a half ago I caved and said yes to adopting a cat. The cat belonged to my friend’s mom who passed away a little over a month ago. My friend reached out after his mom took a turn for the worst. […]
the seed of me
what shape waits . . . the shape of what was what is what will be transformation. how am I different? or the same? in the seed of you . . . the seed of me of sorrow of grief of survival of resilience of gratitude i am the seed of yesterdays i am the […]
Colder Weather
With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family a decade ago. The thought of another year with an empty seat with his name on it sets in more this second time […]
Church of Beginnings and Endings
About three weeks ago, I attended a funeral at the church where Tony and I were married. It was the first time I had been in that church since his passing. The service that day was for one our close friend’s mother. So I was there in a supporting role versus a griever. As I […]
One Thousand Five Hundred Twenty-Seven
It’s a recurring theme for me: something occurs that roils my emotional waters, instantly flooding me with dark memories of grief-filled days when the icy reality of Lee’s death occupied my every waking moment. Such emotional waves are not connected to a specific date, place, or occasion, but rather surface unexpectedly, and can be triggered […]