Wow, last week was ROUGH. When I wrote on Monday about being sick, I had no idea what I was in for. I was down for seven days with a fever of 102 I couldn’t keep under control and exhaustion. Every night, I woke up every hour or two either chilled to the bone or […]
Widowed Emotions
Same heart. New chapter.
On June 30, 2021, I hit “publish” with equal parts excitement and nerves. Today, I’m hitting it one last time — with a full heart. Keeping my promise to write here each Wednesday created a map of my path through grief. Nearly five years of questions, lessons, fears, laughter—feeling lost more times than I […]
Sick and Tired
The last two days I’ve been sick and tired, literally. We had a busy Friday and Saturday night, and I thought I was just sore from the weekend. Then I noticed it felt like my skin hurt. That first sign your getting sick before the real symptoms set in, leaving you question if it’s real […]
Shout Out To Our PETS Who Saved Us
I came across an instagram post that talked about why a PET might be the only thing that pulls you forward after a devastating loss (when nothing and nobody else can reach you). It was an amazing post (I will try to figure out how to link it…) and it ends with the statement, “Pets […]
My First Valentine’s Day
I never asked, but I think the Facebook post I made on my first widowed Valentine’s Day was the catalyst that led me to writing this blog. Tony died in April of 2021, and I attended my first Camp Widow in October of 2021. After Camp, I became Facebook friends with the people I’d met. […]
A Valentine For You
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected times . . . E Especially when you need it most. N […]
It’s in the Numbers
Three is most definitely “my” number … or 33 … or 333. Vern, Jeremy and I were a family of three. Vern, Jeremy and I were each 33 years old when our fathers died. After Vern died, I began waking at 3:33 each morning for months. I don’t know why I started waking at […]
Changes Coming
It’s only February but wheels are already in motion for another season of changes. My oldest will be a senior in high school next school year. I’ve heard that year is hard on many parents with all the changes it represents. Crossing each of those milestones without his dad feels heavy. I know it might […]
A Win-Win Situation
I begin this post with a disclamer. I do not, nor ever have, been employed by the supermarket chain Winn Dixie, nor did I write the book Because of Winn Dixie, although it’s a great dog story. That honor belongs to the incredible children’s author Kate DiCamillo. I am, however, the loving dog mom to […]
Song Sung Blue
“Me and you are subject to the blues now and then” And oh boy did the ‘now and then’ arrive. And they were triggered by watching the new ‘Song Sung Blue’ movie. Go figure. I love Neil Diamond. And his song ‘Sweet Caroline’ has been “our song” for Vern and I since way back […]
Touch Deprivation
A friend and I were recently talking about the touch deprivation experienced in widowhood. It’s one of those extra layers of loss that not everyone thinks about. But it reminds me of everyone touting the importance of skin-to-skin contact when a new baby is born. We use touch to express affection, and I don’t mean […]
What is widowhood asking of me today?
At 1,748 days out has its question changed? When I walked my husband out to the coroner’s van in our driveway we were 51 years 9 months married. I was sending him off, in the custom of our culture, to a place unknown to me. Saying the first of many goodbyes, I had no […]