This past week I attended two conferences out of town. It was a whirlwind week, and I felt like I couldn’t quite catch my breath. I planned to get a lot of other work done in my hotel room and in between sessions, but it didn’t happen. I know my time spent networking was important, […]
Widowed Emotions
The Dress
From the Funeral A cute black dress came forward right on time. I was shopping (alone) for something to wear to the funeral for my husband of fifty-one years, nine months. I don’t enjoy shopping, so procrastination prevailed until the 11th hour. This smart black dress with just the right amount of sleeve and buttons […]
8th April
Photos my own, taken today It generates a sicky feeling in my tummy. A sinking of my heart. A shortening of my breath. An increase in my heart’s rate. A tensing of my belly. A weakening of my arms’ and legs’ strength. Trembly fingers. This date. 8th of April. Typing it out. Seeing […]
Timelines and Revisions
A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning and choosing new books, each class spent time on an activity such as word search, cross word […]
Examining the Light Between Us
In 2021 I was gifted a book written by Laura Lynn Jackson named SIGNS: The Secret Language of the Universe. The author is a psychic medium who penned the New York Times bestseller The Light Between Us: Stories from Heaven, Lessons for the Living. I found Laura Lynne unique among other mediums I’d met. Before […]
The Body Remembers – Again
This morning I awoke at exactly 4h00. It’s not entirely uncommon that I am awake around that time. But to awaken at exactly 4h00. On 30th March. The body remembers. Nineteen years ago, at that very moment, I woke up. I needed the loo. As in to poo. And I knew. Because late […]
Boundaries as a Superpower
Setting boundaries might be my widow superpower. Okay, maybe not a superpower but it’s a skill I continue to learn to flex. By nature, I’m a people pleaser who hates confrontation. However, losing Tony and experiencing everything that comes along with that loss changes a person. I don’t have the time or the capacity to […]
Seeing Our Way Through
Last week I took my one and a half year old pup, Quint, to the Animal Eye Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, for an official vision assessment. Not surprisingly, the specialist confirmed that Quint’s vision was severely impaired due to detached retinas in both eyes and a tear in one. He also confirmed that his condition […]
Our Beating Hearts
It happened last night in a waking dream. The other day I was on a call about grief. In poetic prose, the speaker mentioned “hearing the beating of her heart.” She repeated that phrase at least three times. I wonder. . . is the beating of our hearts a reminder? Returning to her words, I […]
NNTR and other attempts to influence language
Image by i-am_nah on Unsplash Back in the 1980s, and possibly into the 1990s, I was quite an avid reader of two “wimmin’s magazines” – Company and Cosmopolitan. I just looked up to see if they still exist – they do. But I am curious how I ever found any of it interesting. Perhaps it […]
Art Reflects Life
It’s not surprising that things hit differently once we are widowed, but sometimes it’s still unexpected. In 2019, I excitedly ordered tickets to Hamilton when it was coming through on tour. Tony didn’t love the theatre like I did, but he put up with a show every now and then because he loved me. My […]
What Grows On
My last two posts have focused on the inner workings and transformation of house, home and human in the wake of profound loss. It was so gratifying to see my post, “Staying in Place”, written earlier this month recently featured on the Facebook Page of Soaring Spirits, International, and to see it appreciated by those […]