A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning and choosing new books, each class spent time on an activity such as word search, cross word puzzles and in the case that day, they were asked to create a timeline of events in their still very young lives.
Expecting to see timelines boasting lots of fun family events, it was striking how the loss of family members were key events for children so young. Deaths of siblings, cousins, grandparents and even parents were posted and discussed. If no human relative was lost, many recalled the passing of favorite pets and sadly, divorce was an item prevalent on many timelines as well as parental remarriage.
When I think back over the past 14 months since my husband Rich passed, it’s a challenge to put events on my own personal timeline. Fatigue, grief, brain fog all make it nearly impossible at times to recall how things played out over the days, weeks and months following his death. I sometimes find myself asking, “Was Rich around when that happened?”
I often find myself mentally listing things as before his passing and after. For instance, I swear some of my new friends made here in Georgia spent time with us although it is pretty clear I met them after Rich passed. I also look for photos of Rich with my dog, Quint, before processing that Quint came into my life two months after was gone.
Recently, I ordered a Facebook PastBook filled with many of the photos I’d posted on my page over the years. A multitude of images I’d taken over the span of many years had been randomly selected by Facebook, now Meta. I let the Universe choose the photos it wanted to present. As you can imagine, some of those images evoke powerful emotions and I found myself taking in each page a little bit at a time. Many photos were from holiday seasons, Easter included. I’ve always loved the Easter season, with the promise of more daylight and longer days and the themes of renewal and faith that after winter, there is always spring sunshine and easier times.
Rich got to spend two Easters here in Georgia. I can’t even recall how they were spent, but with Rich being a foodie, I’m sure we had a special menu. Last Easter was a “First” and I remember it was a rough day without him.
This Easter finds my life changing in ways that I will share at a later time. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers because like those timelines created by those kids in the library, events inevitably will unfold, and they will bring change and emotional challenges. But as long as that line ahead is blank, we move forward understanding that revisions are always just a day away and although we can’t completely prepare ourselves for these events and milestones, we can remain grounded and keep the faith as we head toward a warmer season that always lies ahead.
Have a very meaningful Easter and Holiday Spring Season.
Added Up Note: Congratulations to the UCONN Men’s Basketball team who made history last Monday with their fifth National Championship. Proud to be a Husky.
