Last Saturday, at 2:45am I received a phone call. I could tell by the sender that it brought the inevitable news that my father had passed. My dad had been under hospice care for approximately three weeks, and although the circumstances of their passings differed, it struck me that both he and Rich had […]
Widowed Emotions
Credits
Photo my own screenshot A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium, in the time when there were dinosaurs, and during the 7 month period between 1997 and 1998 where I had a brilliantly exciting expat assignment in Minneapolis, I met a lovely woman called Betsy. She was first a colleague then became […]
One Last Meal
If you’ve been widowed a hot minute, you know there are many first and lasts you experience over the years after your partners death. This might sound weird to some people but Sunday evening the kids and I ate the last of Tony’s barbeque. Smoked sausage and brisket burnt ends to be exact. We spent […]
I Said Yes!
Yesterday, April 28th marked the anniversary of my engagement to my late husband, Rich, in 1996, and also the 18 month milestone of my Widowhood Journey. Both milestones represent life-changing occasions on both ends of the marital spectrum. Rich and I had been casually acquainted for a few years before we went out on our […]
Grief Work
Over the past 6 months or so I have started to realize how much more grief work I have to do. I think I went through a period where it felt like I had done it all. Not that I was “over it” or everything was better, but that I’d sort of worked through everything […]
Deathiversary Two
Last week was a heavy week for me. Thursday marked two years since Tony died by suicide, leaving behind unanswered questions and heartache. These are the waves of grief we see coming and we can almost prepare for them. Last Monday, I sent the kids to school, wrote my blog, and then let the sadness […]
Salvaging the Past
Years ago when I still lived in my hometown of Hackensack, NJ, I acquired a stained glass masterpiece; a window that had been removed from one of the city’s stately mansions demolished to make way for another new high-rise condominium complex along Prospect Avenue with a amazing view of NYC in the distance. Measuring approximately […]
Taken for Granted
As is my custom, my first waking act was to raise the shade covering my rear door and survey the yard. Just this past week I’d taken advantage of favorable weather conditions to ready the yard for the growing season. And quickly, signs of new life were appearing everywhere. Happily, I saw that the red […]
Questioning in Pairs
Why does two years seem so short as time measures you gone? Time. Infinitely short, yet excruciatingly long. How is it that sometimes you’re near when you reside afar? You. Elusive and unable to be summoned here at will. Why do they say the veil is thin when most times […]
Poster Child – but not for the reasons I would have wanted
Photo by P – family friend – photo of our two girls, which P keeps stuck behind a piece of art from Julia It was Julia’s 19th birthday a couple of weeks ago. On 30th March. Still her birthday. Even if she is not alive to enjoy it, to celebrate it, to live it, to […]
Joy and Melancholy
Yesterday was my oldest son’s birthday. This Thursday will mark two years since Tony’s death. It is hard to hold both of those dates in my heart so close together. The date that we became parents for the first time with the date we all lost him. Joy and melancholy fold in on themselves. This […]
No Small Moments
Due to family matters, I was unable to write a new post this week. I went back to my former dog-writing blog site I’d maintained for over ten years on WordPress and perused my post archives and came upon one I’d composed after the passing of my sister, Manette. As it pertains on how we […]