I felt my heart stop when your heart stopped beating I felt the air in my lungs leave my body, when you took your last breath I felt the world crumbling down on my chest, with every shock wave that went through yours I was an empty vessel walking above ground, while yours lays down in the soil empty as well I cried storms of sorrow, while rain…
Widowed Emotions
What You May Not Know About Grief
What you don’t know is thatPeople die because of GriefPeople die because of a Broken HeartPeople Die by Suicide Because their Grief is Too Much to BearI had a call just last night from the Now-orphaned-daughter of a friendA widowWhose husband was my friend and colleague He had helped Mike get to Chemo treatments on occasion when I just couldn’t…
The Grief Summit
I haven’t written in a couple of weeks. I could say I’ve been busy but really it is because I didn’t feel inspired to write. Writing for me is very specific. I have to feel I need to write to portray an aspect of my life that might help another. I don’t want to just write anything to have something written. There is an emptiness to that…
Money Woes
I’m really broke. Again. I’m really tired of being broke. I’m really tired of talking about being broke. I’m really tired of typing and writing about being broke. Even when my husband Don was alive, we struggled financially. Everyday. But he worked and I worked, and we helped each other out. He started helping me out way before he moved in with me.
In The Past 24 Hours…
In the past 24 hours… …I collected my youngest daughter’s “personal effects” from the clinic she’d been attending …I was told that her death by suicide most probably wasn’t pre-meditated, but an “on the spur of the moment” action …I learned that my baby girl had been terrified at the possibility of being a carrier for Lynch…
Engagement from Two Sides
Today is a beginning of sorts. For the past few years, Mike and I have written for Soaring Spirits on separate days and will be moving to sharing Sundays now. For anyone who doesn’t know our story, we are both widowed and now engaged to one another. We met in Tampa at Camp Widow in 2015 and have been dating since. The idea to share a day seemed…
Doing It All
My hands hurt from the day from carrying heaving boxes and fixing things around the house. Today, I had to build my little girl a toy box. I will say it took me some time, but I got it done correctly. My back hurts from all the lifting I did, in loading and unloading Costco groceries in 110-degree weather. I miss the days where I had my husband and…
La Rentrée
In France, where I live, early September, with its “back to school and back to work” is known as “la rentrée”. This week is “la rentrée”. Schools go back. Three-year olds begin pre-school, known here as “Maternelle”. Six-year olds begin primary/”Primaire”. Eleven-year olds begin secondary, known as “Collège”, and…
Clutching On To Solo-Parenting
These last few days have been a mad rush. I accompanied my “now youngest” daughter Megan, who is 18, to start university in the middle of the UK. We live in France, so it’s a bit of a schlep, and since we take a flight, there’s a limit to what we can carry. Furnishing her student digs, then, becomes a race against time and my credit card’s…
10 Months Ago
This week’s post from Mari shares some raw memories of the moments she shared with her husband in the hospital just after his death. If you are feeling vulnerable in your own grief experience today, please either proceed with caution or know that as an act of self-care it’s OK to choose not to read today’s post. It’s been 10 months since I…
Sandcastles of Safety
My whole life, I’ve played it safe and small because I grew up within a family that taught me to be practical and frugal and not take risks. I’m sure a lot of us grew up in that kind of family. They did their best, but the illusion of safety and security was always a pretty big focus. Even after my mom died and it became apparent that safety…
The Weight of a Living Legacy
Shortly after losing Tin I was honored being asked to write in this space. I quickly felt the weight of grief ease as the words hit the paper. An amazing thing began to happen, others started to respond to my writing that they felt connected again and that lifted my grief a bit more. As I continued moving forward, I had started to use essential…