My hands hurt from the day from carrying heaving boxes and fixing things around the house. Today, I had to build my little girl a toy box. I will say it took me some time, but I got it done correctly. My back hurts from all the lifting I did, in loading and unloading Costco groceries in 110-degree weather. I miss the days where I had my husband and he would just tell me to get in the car with our little girl. I have bruises on my body from carrying heavy things. Why don’t I just ask for help people might wonder? Well, it’s because everyone has their own life. This is the reality of being not only a single parent, but the only parent.
My husband used to fix everything at our house. He would even help me cook and clean at times. He would help me make decisions, as we shared a beautiful partnership in our marriage. I reminisce on those times, and I wish I can go back in time. But the reality of it is, that I can’t. Nothing will bring my husband back. So I just have to deal with the reality of things and push forward.
I will say, I am getting handier when it comes to doing things that I wasn’t used too. I am growing as a woman, a mother, and as the head of the household. When you are a widow, you not only deal with the emotional and psychological aspect of things. You also deal with the physical pieces that your partner used to help you with. It’s incredibly hard doing it all. I am not only emotionally scarred, but I also have the physical scars that come with this. But I do believe this makes us more resilient in life. This is a type of resilience that is much greater and goes much deeper. Only those who travel and have traveled in the shoes of being a single and ONLY parent truly know. We know because we do it all.