Music, yes – of course music does it. Lyrics or no lyrics – same same. Places too. And faces – duh. All of those are triggers – triggers for a fast tumble down a Grief-soaked spiral. But the evening school bus? School buses, in fact, for there were two a day – one for kids […]
Blog
Funeral Attendance
I went to a funeral this morning. That right there could be the whole post, right? Two years later and it’s still hard to sit through one without transporting myself back in time. The funeral was for a relative of Tony’s who I didn’t know that well. Therefore, I was there as a supporter versus […]
15 Years and Counting
So, last night was the Soaring Spirits “Hope Takes Flight” Gala; celebrating 15 years of this incredible non-profit for widowed people worldwide. SSI Founder Michele Neff Hernandez took the tragedy of the sudden death of her husband Phil, and with it, created an empire of love, community, and hope. The collective losses of so many […]
A Life Well-lived
Last Saturday, at 2:45am I received a phone call. I could tell by the sender that it brought the inevitable news that my father had passed. My dad had been under hospice care for approximately three weeks, and although the circumstances of their passings differed, it struck me that both he and Rich had […]
Time Travel
Fellow widow (and author, podcaster, etc.) Nora McInerny asked on her Instagram story this week, “if you could time travel back to when your person was alive, what would you do?” Of course, this question had me thinking all day about it, trying to come up with the best answer. When your person dies by […]
The Importance of Staying Connected
Robyn and I are going out of town on Friday to visit my old and dear friends, Donna and Craig, whom from time to time I have mentioned in these posts. Yet, as a result, I won’t be attending Joe’s upcoming show at a prime music venue here, also scheduled on Friday. Joe, who is […]
Self Compassion
I once had a dream about hearing my heartbeat. What does it sound like? I wondered. Have I heard my heart beating today? Does it matter? I can’t say in real life that I notice my heart beating. Does it matter? In another space the musing continues: Is the beating of our […]
Credits
Photo my own screenshot A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium, in the time when there were dinosaurs, and during the 7 month period between 1997 and 1998 where I had a brilliantly exciting expat assignment in Minneapolis, I met a lovely woman called Betsy. She was first a colleague then became […]
One Last Meal
If you’ve been widowed a hot minute, you know there are many first and lasts you experience over the years after your partners death. This might sound weird to some people but Sunday evening the kids and I ate the last of Tony’s barbeque. Smoked sausage and brisket burnt ends to be exact. We spent […]
I Said Yes!
Yesterday, April 28th marked the anniversary of my engagement to my late husband, Rich, in 1996, and also the 18 month milestone of my Widowhood Journey. Both milestones represent life-changing occasions on both ends of the marital spectrum. Rich and I had been casually acquainted for a few years before we went out on our […]
Grief Work
Over the past 6 months or so I have started to realize how much more grief work I have to do. I think I went through a period where it felt like I had done it all. Not that I was “over it” or everything was better, but that I’d sort of worked through everything […]
Can an Old Dog Learn New Tricks?
My older sister was one of the smartest people I ever knew. She was so good at solving certain puzzles that for many years it was rumored that a representative of a 3-letter government intelligence agency once came around to inquire whether she might be interested in going to work there. Much later in life […]