A person’s life emerges from their experiences. The daily ups and downs craft our being like water on rock. We emerge—for better or worse—from countless decision points and random events that occur as we travel toward future. For most of us, the events of our lives are ours to ponder and not a matter of […]
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Just because I “know” doesn’t mean I “remember”
Image of Ground Zero Memorial by Oleg Illarionov on Unsplash It’s a tricky thing, supporting others who have experienced great loss. Even when you yourself have experienced great loss. Even when you have experienced the “same” great loss, dammit. It’s a tricky thing because of so many tricky things. Tricky things like the natural human […]
Deathiversary Two
Last week was a heavy week for me. Thursday marked two years since Tony died by suicide, leaving behind unanswered questions and heartache. These are the waves of grief we see coming and we can almost prepare for them. Last Monday, I sent the kids to school, wrote my blog, and then let the sadness […]
Finding Your Tribe
So, a couple of things happened this past weekend that are relevant to loss, and life in the aftermath of loss. The first thing is that on Friday evening, I hosted a comedy show. It was a fund-raiser for a local non-profit here in Gardner, MA called “Alyssa’s Place Peer Recovery Center.” They deal in […]
Salvaging the Past
Years ago when I still lived in my hometown of Hackensack, NJ, I acquired a stained glass masterpiece; a window that had been removed from one of the city’s stately mansions demolished to make way for another new high-rise condominium complex along Prospect Avenue with a amazing view of NYC in the distance. Measuring approximately […]
Taken for Granted
As is my custom, my first waking act was to raise the shade covering my rear door and survey the yard. Just this past week I’d taken advantage of favorable weather conditions to ready the yard for the growing season. And quickly, signs of new life were appearing everywhere. Happily, I saw that the red […]
Questioning in Pairs
Why does two years seem so short as time measures you gone? Time. Infinitely short, yet excruciatingly long. How is it that sometimes you’re near when you reside afar? You. Elusive and unable to be summoned here at will. Why do they say the veil is thin when most times […]
Poster Child – but not for the reasons I would have wanted
Photo by P – family friend – photo of our two girls, which P keeps stuck behind a piece of art from Julia It was Julia’s 19th birthday a couple of weeks ago. On 30th March. Still her birthday. Even if she is not alive to enjoy it, to celebrate it, to live it, to […]
Joy and Melancholy
Yesterday was my oldest son’s birthday. This Thursday will mark two years since Tony’s death. It is hard to hold both of those dates in my heart so close together. The date that we became parents for the first time with the date we all lost him. Joy and melancholy fold in on themselves. This […]
Its Because You are Dead
So Ive been missing Don quite a bit lately. Just some little things, and a few big things, but mostly little things about him. Ive been quietly missing him, and also sometimes telling someone I miss him or sharing a thought or memory of him that I have probably shared before. (when someone dies on […]
No Small Moments
Due to family matters, I was unable to write a new post this week. I went back to my former dog-writing blog site I’d maintained for over ten years on WordPress and perused my post archives and came upon one I’d composed after the passing of my sister, Manette. As it pertains on how we […]
Anxiety
This past week I attended two conferences out of town. It was a whirlwind week, and I felt like I couldn’t quite catch my breath. I planned to get a lot of other work done in my hotel room and in between sessions, but it didn’t happen. I know my time spent networking was important, […]