Lee died three years’ ago this week — on July 2 to be precise. This year the date fell on a Sunday. This year, when I awoke, Robyn was with me. I felt no ambivalence about this circumstance. On the contrary, I was happy she was with me. *** According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, […]
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Widowed Customs: The Ring
Another 4th of July—another wedding anniversary for the books. Dan left on April 15, 2021, so the first anniversary without him came up just three months after his burial. At just over two years of loss, this is my third time to mark our wedding anniversary without him. On this very public holiday in the […]
Four Years – p l e a s e let him be right
Photo my own Most of my death and dying, and grief and loss reading, has been in English. While my French is “fluent for a Brit”, it’s nowhere close to perfect, and by golly does grief take a cognitive toll. I don’t often willingly pick up a book in French – much less an “academic” […]
New Circles
A few weeks ago, my younger boys tried out with a competitive club soccer organization. Even though it’s a club, every kid that wants to join makes a team. Both kids happened to land on teams that have the same coach. Then, because I’m a sucker, I got roped into being the team manager for […]
What’s Your Month?
Happy Sunday, good friends in the Land of Loss and/or Widowhood who are reading this. Here in Massachusetts, it is pouring down rain and there will be storms and thunder and lightning today. Again. It feels like its done nothing but rain since about mid-May, and since we opened our pool for the season; excited […]
A Girl and Her Horse
Yesterday, on June 30th, we would’ve celebrated my sister’s earthly 63rd birthday. Manette loved birthdays and always made sure they were enjoyed in style. I, born in the cold dark days of January, enjoyed, but also envied her sunny pool party celebrations. Mine always seemed to be shut down by ice storms and blizzards! She […]
Grief by Taylor Swift Albums
In the early months after Boris died, I remember a close friend telling me that her husband sometimes will have a hard time remembering if a certain song was out or a current event had occurred before or after his sister died. It had been many years since her death, but I remember thinking how […]
Just Another Birthday
This week I had another birthday – my 72nd. This year, no cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirt combo in a box. This birthday gift tradition ended when my sister passed away a few months ago. My mother and I share the identical birth date. While she was alive, she made a point to present me […]
Thoughts on Time: Night
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a strange relationship with time. I see time as a formidable adversary; time surely sees me as troublesome or unmanageable. In my mind I imagine a cartoon with a tiny me looking up at a huge clock saying, “You’re not the boss of me!” Time and […]
The trickiness of “How Are You?”
Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Yesterday, a fellow widbud, a woman I have never met but who someone connected with me, and who lost her husband just before Christmas 2022 after a very short illness, wrote the note below. I responded to her with both sharing some of my recent writing on this very […]
Readying for Another Sweep
I have been getting the itch to start purging again. The first time I got rid of anything it was about 5 months after Tony died. I went through his clothes because it was something I knew. Heck, I probably purchased 75% of his wardrobe! I didn’t need to question what something was worth, where […]
Spending Time
Hello Sunday Readers! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of TIME. How it goes sooo fast when you are a kid (or maybe it doesn’t if you experienced a traumatic/unpleasant childhood), yet soooo slowly when you are older. How there are times when we all wish we could either speed up time, […]