I have been getting the itch to start purging again.

The first time I got rid of anything it was about 5 months after Tony died. I went through his clothes because it was something I knew. Heck, I probably purchased 75% of his wardrobe! I didn’t need to question what something was worth, where it came from, or what memories might be tied to the items of clothing. It also felt like something I could control in a time where my brain and heart were in utter chaos.

Last June I went through the garage. I threw some things away, made piles to sell (that are still there), and just organized some of the clutter. I meant to go through some of the more expensive power tools and sell them, but I don’t know what anything is worth. Plus, they are all on a shelf and out of my way so it’s easy to ignore.

Over the last week though the urge is popping up again but in a bigger way. This time I’m thinking of taking at least three days off work to tackle the house from top to bottom. I want to go through it all. The kids’ rooms, linen closets, junk drawers, hunting equipment, tools, filing cabinets, endless boxes of cables and cords that all men seem to acquire. Making real decisions on what to save, sell and donate instead of just rearranging for another day.

This feels like something I need to clear the calendar to tackle. If I start piecemealing the project, I’m worried I’ll never get anything done. Running a household with 3 kids’ solo is a full-time job. There are weeks we only have chicken nuggets, peanut butter, and ramen in the house because the evening and weekends are too full of activities. I am a planner by nature. So, my brain is circling the idea over and over, debating where to start in the house, ensuring trash day is in the middle of the purge, and thinking about other minute details.

I hope I don’t lose the urge before I do something about it. Clutter and mess can put me in a heightened state of stress. I think I’m ready to let go of another round of things.