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“Firsts” Moving Forward

Posted on: June 17, 2023 | Posted by: Lisa Begin-Kruysman

Tomorrow is Father’s Day and for the first time in my life I won’t be celebrating the occasion with my dad. On Tuesday of last week, my father’s cremains were interred at the Gerald B. H. Solomon Saratoga National Cemetery in Schuylerville, NY.

It was a beautiful and solemn occasion with about dozen family members gathering. Some shared memories of my Dad, including my brother John, his grandson, Jake, and my late sister’s widow, David. Jake held his own one-year old daughter in his arms as he spoke about a special memory he held of his grandfather.

I’d learned from Rich’s interment at the Jacksonville National Cemetery in January 2022 that these services run on a tight schedule. Knowing this, I chose to just say a few words when I set the record straight that although my father was receiving military honors from the United States Coast Guard, he’d actually served in the branch of the Navy for six years. 

My dad did not have those official documents that confirmed his naval service, however, as it is indicated on his official records that he did indeed deserve that honor, I wanted to lay witness to that fact. Rich, who served as a Navy Corpsman, tried to help my dad obtain those records, but it never happened. Apparently this happens often and it is unfortunate that a WWII Veteran couldn’t receive the official documentation and recognition that he deserves.

Trying to obtain those documents must’ve been important to my father, but apparently he’d given up because I’ve located a handwritten draft of a letter he’d written inquiring about how to rectify the situation and receive his Navy records. 

Speaking of letters, I also have in my possession a letter my dad wrote to me when I was away at summer camp when I was just ten. It is quite moving and as I’m not ready to reread it, I will save that for another blog post when the time is right. Perhaps around July 22nd when my dad would’ve turned 96.

So while I, and the rest of my remaining family, accept our First Father’s Day without our “Coach Jack” as he was often called, we will celebrate his long and well-lived life and I will also lovingly recall Richard who often served as a wise and caring father figure to so many. His presence is especially missed on these holiday occasions. But, I will also savor the fact that we enjoyed celebrating the first birthday of our newest family member, Spider Fonteyn, (Not a misprint), the first great grandchild of the family – a joyous occasion and one that makes us more aware of how we navigate the cycle of life, trying to stay focused on the positive.

How we chose to do that is up to each individual. 

 

“Spy” with her my brother John, and my Mom

Happy Father’s Day to all who deserve that honor. 

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Military Widowed, Multiple Losses, Uncategorized

About Lisa Begin-Kruysman

Originally from New Jersey, artist/writer/blogger Lisa Begin-Kruysman now calls Southeast Georgia and Florida home. It was during a road trip in October 2021, when she and her husband Rich, who served militarily as a Navy Corpsman, were returning south after celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary, that he became ill, passing just three weeks later. The author of several books, including Dog's Best Friend (McFarland & Co. 2014) mostly inspired by the special human-canine bond, Lisa serves on the Board of Directors for the Dog Writers Association of America and now returns to blogging posting for Widow's Voice with the intention of sharing her personal experience of widowhood with those who know the struggles first-hand and to perhaps help those who struggle to understand the daily challenges facing those who've lost a spouse or significant other. She is currently writing a memoir about her Widowed Experience and the comfort she has derived from her relationship with dogs.

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