I originally had these thoughts in January of 2021. And, a lot has changed since this time. It is true that a lot can happen in a year’s time. If you told me how different my life would become in a year I would not have believed you. I reread this blog and I stand […]
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Focus and Chaos
Before the death of Don Shepherd, my mind and brain quite easily handled multiple tasks at once. My life in NYC was frantic, chaotic, colorful, probably way too busy, and with high stress levels. It was also the life of a struggling artist. I was younger then, and I think because mostly the multiple jobs […]
Stains of the Heart
There have been moments this week where I’ve caught myself thinking more and more about the loss of my dad and Clayton. I had a friend from work pass away after being in the hospital. All I could think about was what his surviving wife was going through. Another coworker sadly lost his mother and […]
Friends
Gary is out of town this week but this blog entry is worth a re-read. Enjoy! Today’s theme concerning moving forward seems to be one that I gravitate toward with some frequency in these musings. In the next week alone I will be meeting Amy and Vik for dinner, and next week have made plans […]
In the Spring of 2020
. . . you were still here suffering with constant pain, it was love that kept you going. No one was ready to say goodbye. In the Spring of 2021 You arranged for me to receive from you a pink robe on Valentine’s Day —actually two. I can’t remember what I gave to […]
Creating the Community I Crave
Image from Soaring Spirits – Gordon, Michelle and me – Camp Widow, Toronto, November 2018 Back in the early days of widowing, as I heard the likes of Megan Devine talk about the importance of community, my reaction was something along the lines of “Hrrrmph”. I didn’t get it. I didn’t quite see how hanging […]
Who am I Revisited…
This is the first blog I ever wrote for Widow’s Voice. I wrote this on December 11, 2017. A lot of time has past since I first wrote these words but what remains true is that I am still asking questions. ~S. Life after the death of the person you love demands that you […]
Gas Station Flowers
Although its been over 10 years since the sudden death of Don Shepherd, and although most times Im more than okay these days, there are moments where the guilt and regret of things past starts to overwhelm me. I know its silly and I know that I shouldnt waste my time torturing myself with these […]
Sharing A Smile
I miss his smile. It was a gift he had share with me to hold in my memories. It’s been almost four years since I saw him smile in person. Sometimes I forget to remember those moments because he was so sick near the end that he didn’t have the energy to smile. It wouldn’t […]
The World’s Loss
Sometimes I get sad for other people’s loss of Boris. Not only people he knew but also the people who never got to meet him. At times this grief feels worse than my own even though I know it isn’t. Boris was so many things to so many people. And then there are the people […]
Happy Trails
Socks. Check! Clean underwear. Check! Toothbrush. Check! Covid vaccination card. Check! I am looking over my king size bed, which at this moment is completely covered by a wide assortment of travel items, ranging from my telescoping hiking stick to extra eyeglasses. I spot health-related items, toiletries, a bright red headband, gym shorts, one custom […]
WHAT IF . . .
. . . we keep telling our love stories? There is a beauty in love stories. We see it in rom-com’s like When Harry Met Sally. We see it in Marvel Films like WandaVision. Heck! we even see it in the nature stories of whale families and how they care for each other! Love, in […]