Sometimes I get so caught up in the sadness, shock, and trauma of Boris’s death that I forget how much fun we had. The memories that flood my brain are often of fights or things I should have said or should have done differently. Regret and “what ifs” are common. And, I think because of […]
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Cast Adrift
September 25th was Mallory’s birthday. Mallory is Andy’s daughter and Lee’s youngest great niece. Mallory’s brother, Tobey, is a year older. I sent her timely birthday wishes thanks to a special occasions list that Lee created, which I first came across after she passed. These days I try to keep up with birthdays, anniversaries and […]
Caring for Ourselves . . .
. . . an aid for all in trauma or grief The bad news is that trauma is a fact of life. The good news is it does not have to be a life sentence. […]
The Comfort – and Wisdom – of Denial
Main image by Quliyeva Efsane on Unsplash I have been reflecting on Denial. I realise that I have come to value, appreciate, love and respect Denial. Not as a blanket approach to life, but as a bit of a cosy corner to hide away in from time to time. Or even longer periods of […]
Missing Him Until My End
We grieve because we love and lost our person. Until I was grieving, I didn’t really understand the depths of my love and how much space is carved in my heart for Tony. This week I’ve been grappling with the realization that I will miss him for the rest of my life. It’s something I’ve […]
Camp Widow, sort of
So i cant make it to Camp Widow Toronto this year, for various money reasons and life reasons. For the first time since I started doing my presentation at the Camp Widow events, I will not be there to participate or to present this time. Nick and I will be in Tampa for Camp Widow […]
Some days I still can’t believe it.
Sometimes it still takes my breath away. The realization that he is gone. That he is never coming back. That one minute he was here, and the next he was not here. It still stops me in my tracks sometimes. Days can come and go, and he is always on my mind, but most days […]
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Heart!
“When man gets lonely, God sends a dog.” Alphonse de Lamartine Tomorrow, October 9th, my little dog Quint turns one. Although Quint was born one of a litter of 5, the origin of his name is actually derived from the movie JAWS. Robert Shaw, the actor who played Quint in JAWS was a favorite of […]
My Apologies
After spending considerable time preparing a new article for this week’s blog, it appears I inadvertently destroyed my work scant moments before I had planned to hit the “publish” button. I don’t know how I have managed to do this. I must assume that I didn’t “save” my work correctly. Worse, being a technological boob […]
Who would’ve thunk it?
A lesson on asking for help. A common conversation among widowed folks is talking about what we miss after our person dies. What comes up first are the special things, the hugs, kisses, dancing, teasing, going to movies, traveling, watching TV together, playing cribbage or other games—the fun stuff we did together. Just being with […]
Alone
Image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash I love David Whyte’s Poetry and Writings. I love David Whyte’s voice and the way he reads his Work. I love how he turns words over, how he massages formerly unnoticed meanings out of them. How he carves then places jewels in everyday words, so that you cannot help […]
Muscle Memory
Grilling and smoking is one of the things that Tony took the lead on during our marriage. I was a passive bystander at best. One time he put me in charge of watching some jalapeno poppers he was grilling while he ran down to help a neighbor. I managed to catch one on fire and […]