Sometimes I feel like I have nothing new to say or write about my grief or even about Boris. Like all of my grief thoughts have already been written. My sadness. My loneliness. My missing him. My regrets. My flashbacks of the trauma of his death. And then sometimes I feel like I have so […]
Blog
Today and yesterday (and weeks, months, years prior) . . .
. . . sunflowers continue to bring joy! Do you ever feel “off” in your day…in your body…in the events that transpire between waking in the morning and lying down at day’s end? That was me today. Sitting down to get a head start on my blog post for this week, I drew a blank. […]
When not to mention the death of a child…
Image by Vlada of Oświęcim on Unsplash I went to see an extraordinary film last night – “Simone, Le Voyage Du Siècle” (in English, it’s been translated as, “Simone, A Woman of the Century”. The Simone in question is Simone Veil, French (and European) political, women (and human) rights activist, and Holocaust survivor. A woman […]
Stress Manifested
Last Monday, I was feeling a small sense of calm after weeks of high stress. I’d been stressed with the daily tasks of parenting and adulting my household alone. While grieving heavily as the longevity of this loss came into focus. Monday afternoon I sat down in the chair at my hairstylist because shocking, these […]
Toronto Blues
So here’s the thing …. I wont be attending or presenting at Camp Widow Toronto this year. I just cannot make it work. Almost always in the past, I have been able to somehow make it work. Lots of people in the widowed community have helped to make that happen some years when things are […]
Hope as a Helpful Diversion
After I’d edited and saved last week’s post, The Fine Art of Inoculation, my home experienced a powerful surge followed by a brief power outage. I later found out, however, that some of my neighbors had experienced a longer period of time without power. Because of the precise timing of its occurrence, I suspect that […]
Decluttering
“Decluttering” seems all the rage these days. Just check the internet, which contains enough information and articles on the phenomenon to easily fill an entire basement and a garage: spend an hour, a day, a week discovering for yourself the “10 Rules,” the “27 Simple Steps,” the “50 Strategies,” ad nauseam. The hype surrounding the […]
Finding My Way in Year Two
Which Direction? Which Decision? Being lost is not new to me. My inner navigation plan is usually this: If you think you should turn right, it is highly likely you should turn left. Truth. I admire those who have a born sense of direction—like my husband. The kids often tell tales of being on a […]
Witnessing Deep, Rich Love, Sorrow and Pain in Others
Image by Whoislimos on Unsplash I spent some deeply touching moments, minutes, hours yesterday evening, during my shift at the hospice. We have a beautiful new resident. She is a true beauty. Glorious skin and hair. Luminous eyes. Not so many people who are nearing their final days are graced with such luxuriant beauty. She […]
Peaceful Moments
I can’t really tell you why but after a tough few weeks, I’m feeling a little better. I don’t feel like a dam of emotions is ready to burst at any moment. The tears aren’t hiding just below the surface ready to erupt. Sometimes it’s easy to tell why we are riding a new wave […]
Loving Humans is Hard
It has now been almost 3 months since my husband Nicks double bypass surgery. The doctors all say that the recovery process is lengthy, even more so for a diabetic, and that it may be 6 months to a year before he feels energetic and active and fully “well” again. His numbers are great, as […]
The Fine Art of Inoculation
I’ve been anxious about this fall season marking the one year anniversary when life as I’d known it for nearly 30 years profoundly changed with the swift and unexpected passing of my husband, Rich. I fully anticipated and understood that the period between early October and the 28th of this month would be a […]