. . . an aid for all in trauma or grief

 

The bad news is that trauma is a fact of life. The good news is it does not have to be a life sentence.                                                                                     –Dr. Peter Levine

 

In human art throughout the ages we find signs and stories of trauma.

Cave drawings, early scriptural writings, holy books of all religions, stories of heroes and saints, ancient tales from Greece and Rome, stories told by traveling bards, fairy tales, books of every kind, classic films, super hero movies, operas, theater—incidents of trauma, and its resolution, are found in every genre.

 

A Tiny Story of Trauma

A child falls down

Their body registers pain

The child cries big tears

Someone comforts them

Their body reacts physically

The trauma moves through and out of their body

The child feels better

The child runs off to play

Their body remembers

 

What wisdom lies in observing our emotions and allowing them movement through us?

The video below demonstrates one person’s experience as a useful tool for others of us. For me, it speaks to trauma’s process. Like a storm it arrives, it rages with lightning, thunder, pouring down rain, and then it passes. This makes sense to me and gives me ideas that I tuck away in the back of my mind for future use.

This, too, is caring for the self.

As a life-long learner, stories such as these helped me throughout my lifetime by reminding me that the human psyche—the human organism—is brilliantly fashioned to help us through the traumas of life.

Here is the 8 minute adult version of our Tiny Tale of Trauma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hP2KJ3UgDI

Of course we are traumatized! Death Sucks.

We often associate caring for ourselves with the classic “self-care” options of a mani-pedi, or a massage, or a trip to a remote island—-if that’s your vibe, go for it.

But also know that small actions sometimes offer a greater impact since we can offer them to ourselves on a daily basis. Caring for ourselves is not out of reach. It simply requires a little creativity and a heaping dose of courage.

Some general ones—saying no, taking a nap, asking for help, allowing yourself to emote, putting yourself on the calendar for rest or recreation—these take practice since it has long been rumored that caring for self is selfish. Essential would be a better word to label TRUE self-care since all love emanates from within.

What would make you feel special and loved that you can do for yourself this evening? How about taking a shower with the lights out and allowing the hot water to melt the tension in your shoulders? Or preparing a foot soak for yourself to enjoy with your favorite binge show? Perhaps just stepping outside to see the moon in the dark of night? What calls to you?

We can be the woman in the video who showed up for the doctor when he was in need.

Giving ourselves what we need, what we dream of, what we hope for is the deepest self-care that is possible because most often we know exactly what we need. Or at least, we know on some level what we don’t want, which can be equally helpful. The answer is within us.

Could it be that turning inward to offer ourselves gentleness, beauty, and love might be our next best habit for a healthy life?

In the meantime, simply being an advocate for ourselves requires practice, so as you move forward into your day, here are some simple exercises that gently tend to the trauma lingering within which I hope you find helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7zAseaIyFA&t=198s

Let’s keep going toward wholeness — together.