Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring has most definitely arrived. And it’s been six months since Jim died. He created this beautiful backyard, so I always […]
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A Party to Plan
This week we turn the calendar to April. Once again, I will find myself in the month that Tony passed. What feels crazy to me is that this year will be the 5th anniversary of his death. Five years is bananas. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed. A month or so ago, […]
The Loss of Future Memories
One of the things that makes our people “our people,” is the million things we know about them that few / no one knew, and – as importantly, the million things they knew about us that no one else knew. We were also “each other’s people” because of the special 1:1 memories we had, the […]
Permission To Discard
This post may sound like a rehash of a former post as I continue to clean out the garages of the house I purchased with my late-husband, Rich, six years ago in Georgia. That garage also contains the remainders of three homes in New Jersey. There are so many photos, cards and letters that I’ve […]
How Different Grief Is
So last Saturday I was running an errand for my mom when I saw a flyer for a small Psychic Fair at a book store not far away from where I was. I detoured to check it out. There were various psychics in attendance, most of them reading tarot cards. While I am a believer […]
Another Birthday
Had she not died, Lee would be turning seventy-two this coming Monday, and I would have celebratory plans already in place to mark another happy chapter. Instead, I am left to ponder what life might have been like had she lived. Frankly, it’s confusing to consider possible outcomes. Had Lee survived, Robyn and I likely […]
Scrambled Thoughts 🍳 with a Side of Trauma.
⌛️ It has been 842 days, 13 hours, and 41 minutes. Roughly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days. But the trauma, the slow agonizing torture, started for me more than five years ago with his terminal brain cancer diagnosis. It blindsided us. If your person was ill for a while, you know what I […]
Start with YES
I’m now at Day 10 of this respiratory thing going around, so I’ve been isolating … which should have made it easier for me to accomplish all of the things on my list … but my energy level is at the negative level and I can’t manage more than an hour before I need to […]
Anniversary Missives
St. Patrick’s Day was/is Tony and my wedding anniversary. This year, we should have been celebrating our 19th. Instead, we are always stuck at 14. Walking through the wedding anniversary grief always hits a little different. It is a striking reminder of our widowhood coupled with their death. The other big days, like their birthday […]
The Bittersweetness of Home Renovations
My siblings and I are renovating my Mom’s family home in the Philippines. Our Aunt passed away last year, and left her estate to the three of us (she and my Mom were the only siblings, and my Aunt had no children). We are in the long process of renovating the home. I was only […]
Springing Forward
Yesterday welcomed the first official day of spring and for many it didn’t come soon enough. This winter has been a beast and judging from last week’s storm in Michigan where snow seemed to swallow houses and cars whole, winter isn’t lying down quite yet. Being from the Northeast originally I always understood that although […]
Don’t Wait
Spring is kicking into high gear here in Southern Oregon at what seems like an earlier rate than usual. The other day it got into the low 80s. Sun is shining, bulbs are coming up everywhere, I managed to get all my Easter decor out for once (it’s been years since I did that), and […]