When I “ran off” to my new life in rural Northeast Central Florida in September 2023, the last thing I needed in my life was a new dog. As I’ve written before in previous Widow’s Voice posts, however, i think that dogs seem to enter our lives often when we don’t even know how […]
Widowed Milestones
Getting into The Write Spirit
Last week I wrote about being inspired by my trip up North to New England for a visit with family. I relayed about how thrilling it was to tour the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown, Massachusetts and my visit to a gallery in town with some beautiful landscapes by local artists and how I wanted […]
Season of Fall
Season of Dying “In Asian mysticism and Chinese medicine, Autumn is considered the season of Grief. While summer is associated with the emotion of joy, autumn is associated with both courage and sadness. If you are grieving, you can probably feel the truth of that association for yourself, because, in Autumn, things are dying.” — […]
Timelines
While watching tv I saw an ad for a sitcom about marriage. They were making a joke about how long after death they had to wait to find a new partner. He told her she had to wait half the time they were married, then she quipped that he wouldn’t wait. […]
Northern Climbs
Last weekend I had an inspirational visit to New England, the origin of my late father’s family, of French Canadian descent. As a kid, most holidays found my family loading up the car for another trek from New Jersey to Massachusettes where my siblings and I made fun of the accents of 42 our first […]
In Praise of Tears
An Ode to Weeping Alone in my bed the other night, I wept. It surprised me. I let my tears fall without holding back. In six months, Dan will be gone five years. Those walking the path of grief understand the weird way our bodies know how to “tell time” and set our hearts into […]
Another Bloody Birthday
Yesterday was Tony’s birthday. He should have been turning 48, but he is forever 43. I actually double checked myself because 48 didn’t sound right. He was born two years before me so keeping track of his age is easy. Yet still I questioned if that number was right. Five birthdays we’ve missed his presence […]
Officially Nearing the End
I basically stopped working as a lawyer soon after Lee passed away from cancer. It has been more than five years. Now, I feel the time has come to discuss my “official” retirement with the two principals at the law firm where Eric and I landed after we voluntarily closed our own firm. Back then, […]
A promise to myself
is worth keeping A valuable promise for widowed people to make is to prioritize our own self-care and self-worth by committing to our well-being and growth. What does “I’ll take care of you” mean when we say it to ourselves? We might begin by prioritizing self-care and dare to discover what “self-worth” means […]
When Longtime Traditions Change
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season, and made of capiz shells. OUR homemade carols, however, are made of bamboo sticks and cellophane paper. Years ago, I would bring […]
Detours and Alignment
In last week’s post, I wrote about timelines and how they can help us recognize the milestones of moving forward after a pivotal life-changing event. I have often drawn my own Timelines to keep events in correct order. I once recounted a story about my dog Quint and Rich. Later a friend reminded me that […]
Pondering Hope
Then and Now In the early days of losing my husband of 52 years, I was in shock. A fog. It lasted a full year and as time moved on, I saw myself clinging to optimism. I’m a hopeless optimist and the problem in that is that sometimes I avoid feeling my feelings in the […]