Last weekend I had an inspirational visit to New England, the origin of my late father’s family, of French Canadian descent. As a kid, most holidays found my family loading up the car for another trek from New Jersey to Massachusettes where my siblings and I made fun of the accents of 42 our first […]
Widowed Milestones
In Praise of Tears
An Ode to Weeping Alone in my bed the other night, I wept. It surprised me. I let my tears fall without holding back. In six months, Dan will be gone five years. Those walking the path of grief understand the weird way our bodies know how to “tell time” and set our hearts into […]
Another Bloody Birthday
Yesterday was Tony’s birthday. He should have been turning 48, but he is forever 43. I actually double checked myself because 48 didn’t sound right. He was born two years before me so keeping track of his age is easy. Yet still I questioned if that number was right. Five birthdays we’ve missed his presence […]
Officially Nearing the End
I basically stopped working as a lawyer soon after Lee passed away from cancer. It has been more than five years. Now, I feel the time has come to discuss my “official” retirement with the two principals at the law firm where Eric and I landed after we voluntarily closed our own firm. Back then, […]
A promise to myself
is worth keeping A valuable promise for widowed people to make is to prioritize our own self-care and self-worth by committing to our well-being and growth. What does “I’ll take care of you” mean when we say it to ourselves? We might begin by prioritizing self-care and dare to discover what “self-worth” means […]
When Longtime Traditions Change
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season, and made of capiz shells. OUR homemade carols, however, are made of bamboo sticks and cellophane paper. Years ago, I would bring […]
Detours and Alignment
In last week’s post, I wrote about timelines and how they can help us recognize the milestones of moving forward after a pivotal life-changing event. I have often drawn my own Timelines to keep events in correct order. I once recounted a story about my dog Quint and Rich. Later a friend reminded me that […]
Pondering Hope
Then and Now In the early days of losing my husband of 52 years, I was in shock. A fog. It lasted a full year and as time moved on, I saw myself clinging to optimism. I’m a hopeless optimist and the problem in that is that sometimes I avoid feeling my feelings in the […]
Quality Time
The period between September 28th and the 28th of October will forever be a time of reflection and recollection. Even with so many changes and forward movement, I’d not be honest if I said that the memories of past drastic events didnt affect my days. Yes, we do move forward (NOT on), but that […]
What is a Bad*ss Widowed Person Anyway?
“Badass” (often stylized with an asterisk, like “bad*ss”) is an informal term referring to someone, typically a woman in recent contexts, who is tough, formidable, and indomitable, often in the face of adversity or to challenge norms. (AI Dictionary) What qualifies a widowed person as a bad*ss? A Bad*ss Widowed Person discerns when […]
Navigating the “Tail” of the Timeline
On Thursday, October 9, Quint, my quirky Malti-poo, turned four years old. Quint has played an integral role in my movement, and voyage, forward after the passing of my husband, Rich. On October 8, 2021, I brought Rich to the local ER after a several days of of him not feeling well after we’d returned […]
After the Major Transition of Loss
Life Brings Other Transitions I joined the Widow’s Voice team about two months into my loss. Each writer (one for each day of the week) writes about whatever is relevant in their life that week. For about two months now, I have been in a state of transition. Preparing my home for a tenant involved […]