Recently, I found myself telling a good friend that dogs have often been an emotional life raft for me during challenging and lonely times, offering me a comforting space on which to rest and recover while needing to navigate the ever-changing currents of turbulent waters.
First there was Hooper. In 2001, while sitting alone and watching the news coverage of the events of 9-11 unfold, I felt so cut off from a world that seemed to be falling apart. In my quiet New Jersey Shore neighborhood, not far from New York City, I’d been working in my art studio like any typical day when that startling news broke. I tried unsuccessfully to reach my late-husband Rich, who at the time was employed as a lithographer at a pet book company and often unaware of what was happening outside of his darkroom. With no access to his phone, he didn’t hear my calls to him right away. Later, we were saddened to learn that our township had lost several individuals that day, and how many other individuals had perished in surrounding commuter communities, and beyond, of course.
In the days that followed, I thought about how comforting it would be to have a dog at my side to bring comfort and connection during uncertain times. Seven months later, Rich and I, welcomed a beautiful Portuguese Water dog into our lives. Hooper, named after the Richard Dreyfuss character in JAWS, was energetic, clever and fun. Acquired during an unusually warm Easter weekend, Hooper brought light and happiness into our lives, and when Rich became ill and hospitalized the summer of 2012, she brought me great comfort when I spent many nights alone. She would pass just weeks after Rich came home from surgery, a very sad time for both of us.
Teddy came to us not long after in the sobering wake of Hurricane Sandy. That historic storm ravaged my community and as the homes of several neighbors were no longer suitable for living, some came to stay with us for a time as our home had been spared by a tide change and a couple of “sea level” inches. As the holiday season neared, however, many of our human “fosters” found suitable short-term rentals while their’s were restored. Instead of basking in warm and welcoming holiday lights, our neighborhood remained in darkness. The silence outdoors, and in, became depressing.
At the time, I was writing a series of blog posts on fostering dogs, and via my contacts, I agreed to foster an adorable black and white Havanese mix. Teddy, had been removed from a home that could no longer care for him. Severly matted and emotionally shut down, he clearly let Rich and I know how badly he wanted to remain in our home. The story of how Teddy, the “stray” that came to stay, is featured in the Revell-Baker Publishing Group animal-rescue anthology, Second Chance Dogs. Teddy brought much comfort to Rich and I during that dark post-storm period.
Later, in 2020, when Rich and I moved from New Jersey to Georgia during the Pandemic, Teddy acted as my ambassador, helping me meet new neighbors and friends during a time of isolation. I relayed in a blog post how the length of a leash allowed me to meet-up with other dog owners. Watching our dogs get to know each other at the ends of their leashes allowed humans and pups to socialize during that lonely period.
Teddy left this world just 8 months before Rich did in 2021.
And then seven weeks after Rich’s passing, Quint, an adorable Maltese-mix puppy entered my life when I flew solo to San Diego to fetch him. Quint and his littermates were born to a stray momma that had been pulled from a shelter just days before giving birth to five beautiful pups. In his “acquisition”, I was making my first major life decision as a newly widowed person. Although Quint, also named for a character in JAWS, is visually impaired, he became a key component in providing emotional guidance as I processed my new life without Rich.
A catastrophic world-changing event in Lower Manahttan. An epic Super Storm of historic proportions. A pandemic. and the loss of my beloved dog-loving husband. Throughout all of these life-changing events, the one constant was that the right dog found their way into my world, bringing me just what I needed at just the right time.
For many widowed persons, dogs can provide us comfort when we’ve found ourselves too often alone at home, and be happy and adventurous companions when we finally feel the need to step back out in the world. But not by ourselves. Since welcoming Quint, I’ve welcomed a few more canine companions into my new life here in North Central Florida as life has assigned, each helping me to adapt as new chapters unfold and wait to be shared.
With a dog by our side, we are never really alone.
