I remember clearly the first time I met Lynn’s parents and family… the anxiety, apprehension, excitements, all the things. Also, it was the first time we traveled on a plane together (from California to Atlanta). Every part of the trip was a new, nervous experience for me, to the extent that I privately asked a close friend of mine to be on stand by and come out and get me if I needed support, lol. Everything went amazingly well, of course. 

I thought back to that trip, because I recently traveled for the first time with my new love to visit her bestie and their big ol’ family. It has been forever since I have been dropped into such a situation, where you are staying in your person’s people’s house (did that make sense?) and meshed with their family – AND trying to stay calm, present well but authentic, and still learning about your new love’s style of travel, communication, etc. Phew! 

I don’t compare my two loves, or our experiences. But, I do reflect on my evolution and growth as a “good partner.” And, to be honest, I have learned soooo much from Lynn regarding how to be a good partner – though I have learned this in the years after she has passed. She was the nurturer, the planner, the take-care-of-business partner, and I was beyond spoiled. I never realized how ridiculously spoiled I was until she passed. (When I would tell people about our relationship after she passed, they were quick to show their surprise and remind me how spoiled I was, lol.) I just thought that feeling incredibly taken care of and seen was the norm in all relationships.  When I started dating it was EYE opening at how hard it was to feel the feeling of being seen and heard, of communicating so well with someone. 

There were little tough moments during this recent trip. The first time learning your person’s style of travel, trying to fit into someone’s family (on their turf), having conversations about what you need from them takes a lot of patience (impulse control!), self reflection, understanding, and stellar communication. We made it thru with flying colors! Reflecting back on the trip, and creating another beautiful milestone with my new love, made me feel oddly nostalgic for my previous self who went thru that first trip with Lynn – almost exactly 20 years ago! Despite my apprehensions at the time, I was beyond grateful that I had made that last minute trip to meet her parents. Less than a year later, Lynn’s Mom passed, and that trip ended up being the only time I met her. Hmmm… this is making me feel very lucky to get to “relive” some firsts that initially start with a lot of anxiety, and ultimately become an amazing milestone in my life. (Wish me luck… heading out now to meet her adult kids…)