This post was meant for the Saturday before the 14th, the midway point between that date and my next birthday. I take this time of year to reflect on what the first half of my personal “New Year” has presented and contemplate what the next six months might bring.
It’s been an active half-year, one surprisingly centered on homes, property and restoration. I’d purchased a small home on a canal off the St. John’s River in late 2024 and have spent the past several months guiding its renovation to bring it to its best potential. There is still much to be done, but that will come in time. Day by day it goes.
And the log home I purchased in 2023, and now call home, continues to expand and grow into its best version. Last week, a paver walkway was installed and I’m excited about the landscaping to follow. The home’s setting on a small lake with its stunning vistas never ceases to amaze me.
And of course, I still have a soft spot for my lovely home in Georgia, the one Rich and I restored back to life after purchasing it from a woman who’d been recently widowed and couldn’t bear to remain there, ironically. It is presently being rented by a family whose home was damaged by a fire and were in need of a furnished place as a temporary haven while their new house is being built.
This isn’t the life I’d planned of course. Rich and I had bought our dream house in the South in 2020 and so much has happened during the past five years that I need to draw a timeline to keep track of the many life-changing events that have occurred. With each business transaction, and probate spanning five states, I’ve gained the confidence in my ability to face new challenges for the most part on my own. I’m fortunate to be blessed with terrific advisors and friends.
For those who are widowed, you understand how hard it is some days just to focus, or be productive and present. But, with each accomplishment, I’ve clearly established a new way of living, one that has no guide book or map. I’ve made “things” up as I’ve gone along on my own timeline and terms.
Life will never be the same, and my life is so very different from so many of my friends and colleagues. To compare is to despair, so I’ve taught myself not to. For example, while all of my friends are in the grand parenting stage, I, having no children, will never be a “Grand”. All with the exception of a handful, are married to partners they met in their teens or 20s. I met Rich in my late 30s. None of my closest friends have a dog while at the moment I have four.
I know none of them want to be me, a person who has experienced the loss of a spouse or partner, but I know deep down they admire what I’ve done with a life forever profoundly changed. The other day while scrolling on a Widowed Only thread it was interesting to read posts from those widowed for ten years and beyond. Accepting and owning that grieving is a lifelong process is helpful when establishing contentment and moving forward in our post widowed worlds.
My life path is unique.The sooner I embraced my life circumstance differences among my social circle, the more content and accepting I became, for myself, and for others. I’ve lost most of my family. My life-long, fundamental, relationships no longer exist. That can be sobering at times.
What’s next? So many scenarios visit my imaginings; a Magnolia Farm, a plant nursery, buying items from the small local thrift shop and “flipping” them on Marketplace, and offering a creative retreat to artists and writers seeking refuge from the coast and other crowded spaces.
To be continued…Have a great weekend. Keep busy, but don’t forget to stop and congratulate yourselves on all the “little”, (and not so) things you’ve gotten done in your new frontier.
