Shortly after Lee died, I lost my enthusiasm for my regular work. My career as a trial and appellate lawyer quickly paled in significance next to the impact and importance of her loss, despite the many interesting and important cases I’d been involved in over the years. However, it wasn’t as if one day I […]
Widowed Milestones
Dull Weed-like Plants and Sunny Sunflowers
Can joy and loss coexist? The dry, brown, feathery stalks in this photo remind me of the dried up feeling of loss that sneaks up on me. Standing directly in front of the dry stalks, sunflowers pop up through the leafy green leaves. I ask: Have you no shame yellow-face-flowers? Can you not feel […]
Mysteries of the Future
In April, I started with a new therapist, and I’ve been seeing her consistently since our first session. Today we were discussing secondary losses towards the end of our session. Just as the bulk of my session was winding down, I hit on a new topic that was bigger than the 2 minutes we had […]
Memories Well-Coached
Tomorrow is Father’s Day and I’ll take this opportunity to write first a little about the special bond my late dad, Jack, had with my late husband Rich. There were some commonalities. My father’s middle name was Richard and they’d both served in the United States Navy, my dad also a member of the US […]
Where is beauty?
Where is joy? I’m grateful to be alive this day to breathe in air to witness beauty and to walk barefooted upon the earth. Grief’s feeling cycles remind me that I am alive. The values which form the backbone of my existence remind me to pay attention. Where does joy reside? […]
Eternal Rest: Honoring my Mother
Last year at this time I was in New York State for my mother’s Memorial Service that was held at the Gerald B. H. Solomon Saratoga National Cemetery in Schuylerville, NY. It was a warm summer day, perfect for a gathering of friends and family. My father, a WWII Veteran, had been interred in this […]
On Sunflowers
A Medicine for Joy? part one of a three-part meditation on joy Ah Sun-flower! weary of time, Who countest the steps of the Sun: Seeking after that sweet golden clime Where the travellers journey is done. Where the Youth pined away with desire, And the pale Virgin shrouded in snow: Arise from their graves […]
The Mundane
It feels weird to even write about this, but it was also weird to experience. In May, I found my checkbook down to the last few pages. We live in an age where checks are hardly used, so an order for a few books can last a very long time. I can’t tell you the […]
The Memory and Comfort of “Mangia”
One of Lynn and my favorite restaurants recently closed. It was a neighborhood Italian restaurant, and when Lynn passed, the owned gave me a bottle of wine as a condolence gift. Lynn judged Italian restaurant based on how good their eggplant parmesan was, and this restaurant passed her test on our first visit. We went […]
It’s a “Win-Win” Situation
As I relayed in a previous post, at the tail-end of March I welcomed a tiny 5 lb. pup into our pack. Since then, she has quadrupled in weight and at four months she is just a about 20 lbs. It’s noted that if you double the weight of a 4 month-old puppy, you can […]
A Poet’s Wisdom
death’s sting is in my heart and mind and memories When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I […]
Resting in Peace
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up. Up close and personal. First thing in the morning, as we stretch from the night’s […]