What day is it, anyway? It feels sort of strange to completely drop out of life and sleep for 2 1/2 days. Turns out it was just the medicine I needed. Hearing about friends who had a terrible cough for weeks on end, I tried using a mask in certain public spaces and crossed my […]
Widowed Milestones
Tripping Around the Sun
The New Year has started out eventful. As the days grow slightly longer, they seem to be less heavy and lighter on all levels. I, too, feel the collective relief that those widowed often feel when the holiday season comes to an end. Even those who’ve moved forward with new life chapters feel the weight […]
What now?
What’s next for me? Mystery of seasons shows edge of winter waking; another turning. Before its return rising sun pauses unseen; as Life asks for more. A new year begs a plan. What’s next? it asks. What’s new, different, or ahead that’s waiting for me? Grief says, Hold on! Not so fast. […]
Unexpected Havens
Writing this in Real Time early New Year’s Day. At precisely 12:01am, I experienced a deep sense of relief that 2025 had concluded softly without the loss of an immediate family member. I lost Rich in late 2021, my nephew who was the son of my late sister in May 2022 and my father and […]
Every Day is a Holiday
There are literally 45 minutes remaining in Christmas Day 2025 as I begin to write this post. Having just spent time on a variety of sites for the widowed on Social Media, many commenters were counting down the minutes and hours for the day to be over. Many more relayed how they’d dreaded the days […]
Approaching Year’s End
Closing Down 2025 Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My feeling? Pretty chill, actually. I’m saving my present wrapping for tomorrow after church. We draw names, so only one special person’s presents require wrap. No party happening here, so no busy prep. I plan to sit by my brightly lit tree to wrap my gifts and then […]
On the Scent of Home
Four years ago December 9th, I adopted an adorable Maltese-mix puppy out in San Diego. I’ve written before about Quint’s arrival in my life just seven weeks after Rich’s passing. Quint, named for Robert Shaw’s character in JAWS, began his life on the very same day Rich entered the ICU beginning what would become the […]
Bringing Our Person Into the Holidays
Traditions, Rituals, and Memory Making Where do we begin? How does one start a new tradition or ritual for one’s self or for a family? How does making memories help? As holidays appear and then move on, how do we fill the empty place where our person is missing? GRIEF I had my own […]
Moving Parts
As we are just about through the first week of December, I realize that this is the third Christmas spent here in Old Florida. For those who may not know, I moved here two years after the passing of my husband, Rich. I was content in the home in Southeast Georgia that Rich and I […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Passing Holiday Milestones to Better Days Ahead
Just a few days ago, an archived Facebook photo from 2021 that I’d posted the Thanksgiving weekend four weeks after Rich’s passing, appeared in my Feed. At that time, my elderly mother had come to stay with me and although I truly wasn’t into holiday decorating, for her sake, I did. That memory made […]
The Immeasurable Power of Gratitude
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” –Melody Beattie Gratitude snuck up on me today. Gratitude is a wily beast! It captured me in a google search and surrounded me in its giant warm hug. It came to me through a poem from Melody […]