Going through grief is like singing karaoke in a bar. I know, you’re probably thinking this is ridiculous. Admittedly, I had this idea after a few vodka tonics, but I want to play this out. Saturday night our elementary school hosted an adult only trivia night. Afterwards, a large group of parents decided to go […]
Widowed and Healing
Just a pile of ash
The conversation of letting Clayton’s ashes go came up last week. His uncle was going to drive them up to where Clayton asked to be buried. So after 5 years I handed him over. I had lots of messages of support and messages suggesting ways I could keep some of Clayton’s ashes to hold on […]
ONE WIDOW’s ABC’s
FROM THE CAMP WIDOW EXPERIENCE A – ALLOWING myself to need help was harder to do than one might think. It allowed me to receive. B – BY the time I arrived at my second camp, it was not long before I found a familiar face and a warm hug. C – CARING for myself […]
Invisible Grief Analysis in the Cinema
Image by Kyle Head on Unsplash One of the independent cinemas I go to has a wonderful range of premieres, at which any combination of the film director, producer, key actors, etc, are present afterwards for reflection and discussion. I love it. The two people from the cinema who manage the process are articulate, witty, […]
The Final Passing
This week has been full of up and down moments. Life always throws change at you but fast change from a high moment to a low moment and back really takes a toll on you. I certainly need to rest the next couple of days. Not just sleep but rest so I can think, feel […]
Homesickness
Main image by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash In English, when we miss our homeland, we say, “I feel homesick”. In French, when we miss our homeland, we say, “J’ai le mal du pays”. Close enough, but not quite the same. Taken literally, the English version seems just to be about missing one’s “home” (parents, family, […]
Another STep Upwards on this Grief Grise
The thing about a grief journey is that it’s never over. Every step you take onward and upward holds an emotional echo. Some days it’s constantly ringing in your ear and other times it a distant whisper at the bottom of a staircase. Either way you still keep climbing to find the next landing. A […]
Sadness and Joy . . .
. . . side by side: Camp Widow! It is freeing to be in a space where your sadness is welcome—embraced!—and joy sneaks past all the barriers we have created to keep it away. This is Camp Widow. It is beautiful to witness a gaggle of folks huddling in a corner, laughing their heads off, […]
The Miracle of Quality Listening Image by Sammy Williams on Unsplash COVID restrictions are falling away, even in France, which means that I am going out a bit more. This week I had four sorties mid-week – a wine-bar near my home, a premiere at the cinema with Medjool and his daughters, a goodish walk […]
Reflection that Resonates: PEP in My Steps Forward
This is the 169th widowed blog I’ve written. In 28 days, it will be the fifth anniversary of Clayton’s death. I have been widowed longer than I was in high school or college. If that’s the case, did I float through my Grief grades or have I been applying myself to Life’s lessons? The only […]
Shout out to . . .
Soaring Spirits Bloggers . . . and YOU! Recently I read Widow’s Voice blogger Stacy Sulin’s sweet farewell blog and felt guilty when I read that for the past five years she wrote the blog every Sunday. Oh my. My writing rhythm is a moving target. This morning at 3:00am I realized I did not […]
Learning to Live Without a Map
Main image by Ali Elliott on Unsplash I love maps and I love metaphors. I love maps, orienteering maps in particular, though ones of mountainous areas and other rough terrain will do. I like maps that use colours, and the larger the scale, the more detail of the terrain shown, the better. I also love […]