Merry Christmas everyone. We went over to my parents house this morning for a couple hours, practiced social distancing and did a nice brunch with fried dough and fruit, sausage, eggs, and bacon. We did our tradition of exchanging gifts with them while also scratching off lottery tickets with pennies, and kept our visit under […]
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Orion and His Belt~
Like thousands of others, I went outside to look up into the Universe the other night to see if I could find Saturn and Jupiter joining to create the so called Christmas star. I have an app on my phone that allows me to point it at the sky and identify the stars and constellations […]
Missing and MISSING
Main Image by Sarah Treanor on streanor.com One of the (many) difficult things about loss and grieving is that while it makes up an inordinately large portion of my life (and is sometimes all-consuming), it is hard to express, lonely to experience, and frustrating in its unpredictability. I rarely feel understood except by my Grieflings […]
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (for real)
For me, this Christmas, and always, I choose to focus on the LOVE and not the loss. This makes all the difference for me.
Bitter, Bland and Forgotten Flavors
This year has been nothing less than bipolar. Severe ups, downs, twists and turns I could never expect. Year 1 and 2, I could keep busy, keep moving and face the loss of Clayton when I wanted too. Now, year 3, in a pandemic with the world halted, I’m forced to taste the truth and […]
Proposals: Plural
So today is the 15 year anniversary of the day that Don Shepherd proposed to me in NYC underneath the Rockefeller Center christmas tree, or what I like to call “our tree.” Normally, on this day, all the years that I lived in NYC area, I would take a walk to that area and just […]
Resilience Part 1 (How to Strengthen Yours)
I have been doing a lot of work on resilience lately. We have all been told that the concept of resilience refers to one’s ability to “bounce back” from adversity. Being resilient helps us to recover from setbacks relatively comfortably. It also allows us the grace to move forward through difficult situations in life.
While resilience comes naturally to some, anybody can train himself to become more resilient. Like any skill, resilience can be built with time and practice so that you can feel confident in your ability to face adversity and come through it.
Restless Heart. Restless Feet~
I’m restless. I know, I know…I’m just one in a crowd of millions. This pandemic, right? Year 2020. I’d already given myself a year to get off the road full time, even before the ‘rona came visiting. I wanted to focus on filming a documentary about my Odyssey of Love. So I was good with […]
My First Podcast – Living with Loss (what else?)
A different kind of post… My first ever podcast 2020 has been the year of being on webinars and panel discussions about grief and loss and suicide and more but this is the first podcast I have ever participated in, and I think it’s worth sharing. Lasts 37 mins. https://anchor.fm/untamingfemininity/episodes/Living-with-Loss-with-Emma-Pearson-encfa2
Present (The update 2020)
I feel his absence in my psyche. Mike was my person and now I wander through life while part of my Soul is elsewhere. My goal is to become more present in my life. I want to hold steady here in the world where I physically exist. I need to engage in my life more fully. I deserve to live a good life; and, my boys deserve their Mother back. The gift of presence is the present I wish to give my boys this Christmas.
The Unlikely Squirrel
Last week my therapist asked me if I felt Boris’s presence lately. I thought about it for a moment and then realized the answer was no. It had been a while since something happened that felt like a sign from him or his presence was there. Over the past 2.5 years, I’ve heard specific songs […]
The Woven Widowed “What” in the Fabric of Life
“What was I just doing? What was I about to say? What is that person’s name? I’ve known them for years. Damn it Bryan! What is wrong with you?” For a while, I thought that maybe I was a little crazy. I was struggling to understand why my thoughts were so scattered and why I […]