Merry Christmas everyone.

We went over to my parents house this morning for a couple hours, practiced social distancing and did a nice brunch with fried dough and fruit, sausage, eggs, and bacon. We did our tradition of exchanging gifts with them while also scratching off lottery tickets with pennies, and kept our visit under 2 hours to control the time indoors spent with them. Then Nick and I came back to our apartment, and had a Zoom hangout with his family, who live much further away and there are more of them, so we didnt feel it was safe to attend something in person. On the zoom meetup, we got to see the kids in the family who were excited to show off their Christmas gifts, and we got to catch up with the adults, and received many congratulations and well wishes on our recent engagement.

Now we are here, and Ill be taking part in the /festival of hope in a few hours with a fun singalong and christmas special trivia , then we will open our gifts from each other tonight while eating homemade pot roast dinner that my mom sent us home with, and relaxing by the christmas tree. Another zoom meetup tomorrow with my brother and his kids / my niece and nephew, so we can watch them open their gifts from us, and enjoy the chaos of Christmas from a kids eyes. It is certainly not the christmas madness that I have become used to , and maybe that is not necessary a bad thing. This year a lot of things have been different, adjusted, reimagined. Taking some of the chaos out of the holidays and slowing things down a bit is not the worst thing that ever happened . I feel lucky because my parents BOTH made it out alive from a covid-positive diagnosis and a hospital stay and a very scary few weeks back in June. i feel lucky to have found beautiful love not once in my life, but twice, and to know in my heart that Don is beyond happy for me. I feel fortunate to have this widowed community in my life, and to have made so many great friends through our mutual losses.

To everyone who is struggling through today and this time of year, it will get better. It will get less horrible, and you will find a new version of joy, laughter, and life. You will always miss your person, but it wont overwhelm you in the same way, and it will feel lighter. Merry Christmas to all who read this, and all the incredible people in the widowed community who have connected through Soaring Spirits International. May you be able to make your way through today, tomorrow , and beyond – and may you take the magic of Christmas and hold it in your pocket, until you are ready to fully feel its presence once again.