I took part in a 10K race the other week. can’t say that I ran. Technically, I did run…for about ten steps. Then I walked. I couldn’t run because I was overly prepared. I was afraid that I would get thirsty. That I may trip and need a bandaid. That I may require a dab of sunscreen or lip balm aside from the initial application pre-race. That…
hope for widowed
kinship
Nine months after Jeff died, my beloved grandfather joined him in the great fishing grounds in the sky. My grandmother was, understandably bereft. She asked me, “Does it ever begin to feel any better?” In that moment, I was struck by one thing. We were now not only linked by blood and family, but by the kinship of grieving our spouse.Marriage…
another one.
last week in austini met someonewho will die soon. i looked back at her, listening as she shared her life with me, learning that she’d soon be leaving her husband in the position we all find ourselves in. cancer was there, staring me in the face but all i could see was one of the strongest people i had ever met. i cried with her…
One of THE Most Difficult ….
…. Posts I’ve Ever Written. Something has changed. And I wasn’t even aware of it until 2 days ago. Which is kind of freaking me out, because this change was huge. So huge that it stunned me when I realized it. Literally. And then I wondered how I felt about it. I felt horrible and yet a little relieved at the same time. And I kept this change…
When good things happen to sad people.
Okay, so here is my dilemma. What am I supposed to do when life is going well. Or, well enough? I have been publicly writing, blogging, for three and a half years now. At first it was to keep family and friends up to date with Michael’s battle with his brain cancer. Back then I wrote about medical updates, explaining the next chemotherapy trial,…
Home Destruction
On my way to my morning breakfast taco place, I had to dodge a large truck in the road carrying a huge backhoe. Oh brother, I thought. They are going to tear something up. That’s going to be an inconvenience for someone. And I didn’t pay another thought to it, at least until I drove by on my way back home just thirty minutes later. The beast…
How Did You Two Meet?
Recently I spent eight days with one of my favorite people in the world. You all know her as our Tuesday blogger, I call her tacalla. You’ve heard one or the other of us use that term here on the blog (tacalla is the Spanish word for two things that share the same name), as a way of explaining our shared Michel/lleness. Just imagine for a minute…
Remembering
I was looking for the perfect quotation or saying for a friend going through her hero’s angel-versary and came across this excerpt. May you remember your love in the best of times and worst…and may your lives be enhanced through that action…As the four year mark creeps up on me, remembrance has been one thing to get me through the present.This…
give me a reason
In any tragedy, early loss or hard lesson, we look for a reason behind it. The “why”. Over the last three years I have searched for the explanation, or rationale, for Jeff’s death and all the aftermath of his loss. Not the reason written on his autopsy certificate or the coroner’s report. Something deeper. Something less concrete but still as…
Me
I’m introspective. You can still find me wandering the “Self-Help” aisles at a bookstore to find things to challenge my being and better my soul. Like art, all I took and take from those paperbacks is interpreted differently to me than others…and hell, I’m as flawed as a clearance item at a “Ross” store, so in seeing that each life…or in Ross…
Irony ….
…. is a funny thing. Sometimes. Other times …. not so much. This was Jim’s favorite picture frame with one of his favorite pictures of our children. It was taken about 13 years ago, around the same time I gave him the frame. Meaning, in “my time”, about 10 years …. “before”. He loved the verses on it from the Robert Frost poem,…
I’m Not Dead Yet
I own a t-shirt just like this one. The quote is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the t-shirt is from the Broadway Musical “Spamalot”. The movie has always been a favorite, and the musical did not disappoint. I was almost peeing my pants throughout the thing, much to the embarrassment of my much younger siblings. I always get lots of…