Widowed people are scary. Who knew? I’ve noticed it in the past 5 years and it took me a while to figure it out. Our tragedy makes people uncomfortable in a way that is hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. But it’s true. I think it is more than just not knowing what to say to us, or thinking we might cry suddenly. I think we scare…
hope for widowed
slowing down.
i think a lot about how madeline helped get me through those first horrible days/weeks/months, and almost three years later, she’s still doing it.i’d be nowhere without her, still stuck in the moment that happened the day after she was born. without consciously doing so, she has convinced me of the need to slow down and enjoy the little…
Happy*
My personal growth, as well as dedication to the American Widow Project, has brought me more healing than I could have ever fathomed. I still attend each event hoping to get as much out of it as a widow who RSVPed, and continuously I am not disappointed. This evening though, I received a call that meant so very much to me.I rarely hear or ask what…
moments like this.
it’s not what any of us (including brooke) would have wished for, but moments like this: give me hope. …
Announcement
***I’d like to take a moment out of my life to make this announcement*** I like being me. I like being the wife and widow of a hero. I like the knowledge that I have the best of family, friends and pets.I like the oddities of my being that I’m still being introduced to. I like being introduced to them. I like sunshine through my blinds when I…
Pretty Panty Problems
There’s an old adage that says that you should make sure that you are always wearing nice underpants in case you end up at the hospital and some health care worker witnesses the terrible state of your undergarments. I remember this and other silly issues causing me concern at one point.I could worry about this still…if I worked at it. But now,…
When Does Grief End
Hey Y’all, I’m short for words today, but wanted to share a poem I hope will help you as much as it has helped me.When Does Grief End? Grief hits us like a ton of bricks, Flattens us like a steamroller, Hurls us into the depths of despair. We know in a flash when grief hits, But when does it end? Like the month of March, Grief rushes in like a…
This One’s for You: Musical Monday
Before Phil died, I was that friend. The one you called when you were mad at your husband and needed to tell someone what he did who wouldn’t hold it against him later. I was the person who could be counted on to answer the phone at odd hours; watch your kids if you needed a break; or the one person who would remind you of your new years…
Rose Colored Glasses?
What do you see when you look at this picture? I see love, fun, teamwork, happiness. A couple of years ago this picture, as happy as it is, would have made me sad. I would have seen sadness, loss, something missing. Unexpectedly, I am finally able to see what is there instead of always focusing on what or who is not. It’s huge. It also happened…
Another
I had a conversation yesterday with a widower. He’s three months ahead of me He wanted to meet me after his sister, a friend, showed him my black widow photoIt was a conversation that felt good, connected and real. It was a conversation with laughter and head nodding (which he didn’t see cause we were on the phone.) It was a conversation of…
Shine A Light
I must admit…I love films. Foreign especially, but anything thought and emotionally provoking will do. What can I say? Michael and I first kissed while watching “American Beauty”, it’s just the kind of couple we are.Tonight I found myself watching “Anna and the King”, a remake of “The King and I”, which I thoroughly enjoyed with the widowhood…
How Do You Prepare Someone ….
How Do You Prepare Someone ….for the loss of their spouse? The answer is easy. You can’t. Oh, you can tell them to get their finances in order, to say “I love you” a million times, to make sure their name is on everything from the mortgage to the utility bills, but how can you prepare their heart? It’s impossible.I recently “met” a woman who…