My first email of 2022 contained the subject line, “Greetings from Lee.” In her email, Lee apologized for not previously sending along certain linked photographs. Of course, I highly doubted this message was sent to me by Lee, since it’s now going on two years that she died. Additionally, looking at the URL coupled with […]
Widowed Signs from Loved One
A STRONG PRESENCE
. . . and a Christmas Story The longer I live the more I realize how different we are as humans. What matters to one is barely a blip on the radar screen to another. What one treasures can be opposite of what another would give their life to protect. My entire life, as long […]
NEARING YEAR’S END
Noticing the Passing of Time Frost is something that we take notice of when it arrives to our Southern California neighborhood. Many winters come and go without so much as an icy car windshield at year’s end when many places in our hemisphere are covered in snow. It was a balmy April night when he […]
Dimes and Change
Yesterday, the new man in my life was packing up our vehicles while I was tidying up and readying the house to leave. While he was outside, I went about gathering together an assortment of our things to place near the front door. As I was putting some of our belongings in the foyer I saw […]
Change
I have a giant vase full of change. It occurred to me today that I’ve been collecting all the change I find along the past 4.5ish years since day 1 of widowhood. Look at all that change. Interesting how one word can mean so much and so little to others. Some fear change and others […]
Grief Gaps
Love and loss are the great unifiers. Later in life the family seems to only get together for weddings and funerals. The most interesting part of my grief is how separated and alone I felt even though I was surrounded by love and support. I was kept separate from the rest of life by the […]
The Pstihurism
For many, Labor Day marks the unofficial end of Summer, but here in the northern climes where I reside, this artificial demarcation is more a function of culture than weather. Despite the strong likelihood that we will enjoy at least several more weeks of hot daytime temps better suited for T-shirts and cut-offs, schoolboys in […]
131 Days
To My Dearest Dan, It has been one hundred thirty-one days since you died and it feels so much longer. It feels as if you are watching me from afar and also, somehow, participating daily in my life with your energy. When I call on you I especially feel you near, although you show up […]
Three-Way Pact
Image by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash What does someone, who wants to believe in the spirit world, and believe that we are souls having a human experience, do, when she has a “meh” experience with someone claiming to connect with spirits of loved ones who have died? She finds another spirit whisperer. There are good […]
What Do You See
All week I have had a new thought that I can’t shake so I guess I’ll ask but I know I might not get a direct answer yet. They say we are separated by a “veil” that is ever changing. I envision it’s like the whole world is covered in some strange cosmic widowed veil. […]
Of Butterflies, Puppies, and the Dan Neff Dog
The surprising journey of widowhood. Part of the widowed journey, as I experience it, is having to face new things. Some new things contain the kind of surprises you don’t want to receive. For example, if your partner always took the dog to vet, then the first vet visit on your own might surprise you […]
Marbles, Memories and Recycled Reminders
Some weeks go by and I find myself searching for signs or situations that give me insight into what I should write about each week. I fought looking for inspiration. I felt if i couldn’t write about Tin (or my life without him) that I was losing him more. Stressing about sharing sunk stories deeper […]