I have a giant vase full of change. It occurred to me today that I’ve been collecting all the change I find along the past 4.5ish years since day 1 of widowhood. Look at all that change.
Interesting how one word can mean so much and so little to others. Some fear change and others thrive on it. Some accept change and some deny it to the end. Meanwhile, some people will walk by change on the street and others will stop to pick it up. No matter what our feelings are towards it, change happens however we value it.
When Clayton passed away, I was shattered by the change. My days changed. My nights changed. My hope changed. My fears changed. I changed – drastically. The odd thing is I underwent major change and then thought it would never change again. I would never find the change to stand up. I would never meet the change to drive me forward. I would always be trapped away from change. Those thoughts are normal at the stroke of grief but that’s the most important moment to remember that nothing is forever because there will always be change.
So here is this vase that was basically empty on April 16, 2018. Only and already 55ish months later and it’s quite full. I can see my reflection in this vase and I mirror the investment within myself. Either way, fast or slow, change takes place. I’ve build up my self value and have been able to move forward in ways I thought would never change. The most important thing to remind myself is that I didn’t find all my change in one day…
