In my family, December is dying time. Mom passed away in December a few months before Lee and I married. I still can see my father crying softly during our wedding ceremony, sitting by himself, his wife of more than fifty years gone from his side. Thirteen years later, on a Sunday in December, Dad, […]
Widowed Memories
Three Widows and Grief
One of us was working too hard. The other was wobbling on the ladder of memories on her death-a-versary. Each of us with our long list of widow-worries and widowed woes showed up to help the other. Being together was unplanned. Beyond what one might expect, being together brought […]
So many holiday feels…
Here we are yet again. Knee-deep already in another holiday season. This one has been a little different than last. The twins are another year older and understanding more. The excitement and joy of the season for them is just as much, if not more this year. I find myself battling internally with trying to […]
“Uncage the Soul”
This week, a local artist I know lost her son to cancer. I had been watching his story with the disease unfold for a couple years. At one point in time he owned a video production company called, Uncage the Soul (the phrase was apparently one he used to sign correspondences while he was young […]
Sparkly Grief
It’s that time of year yet again. I feel conflicted yet I am trying so hard not to take away from the magic of this season for the twins. The holiday season this year seemed to creep up on me. I was so focused on getting ready for our trip in October that by the […]
Chiefs Love
This year I’ve been gifting the kids experiences for their birthdays instead of traditional presents. Friday, my youngest cashed in on his gift and I took him to his first ever NFL game. We spent our Black Friday tailgating and watching the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Las Vegas Raiders instead of shopping. Tony […]
The Art of Thanksgrieving
How did everyone do with the Thanksgiving Holiday? I know Soaring Spirits is an organization with an international membership, so for some of you, it really was just “another day”. For many in the US, however, Thanksgiving is a day filled with the expectation of being surrounded by family, food and friends. I have had […]
The Story of Us
Through 179 blog posts. The image says life is the best story, to which I say, Yes. I believe that is true because death is a part of life. Dying inside happens repeatedly after realizing our person is never coming back. Living again is something we learn to do, small step by small […]
If Only.
As I was driving the twins home from school on Friday something hit me. Just out of the blue, I started to full on cry. The kind of crying that I couldn’t do silently. The kind I couldn’t hide. The kind where I felt it deep down in the pit of my stomach. I tried […]
Signs From Nashville
Last weekend I went to Nashville for a belated birthday trip. One of my best friends from college and I flew in to meet there. The trip was for us, but I knew it would bear reminders of Tony at every turn. I enjoy some country music and prefer the 90’s era from my high […]
Restoration and Renewal
I don’t think there’s been a time in my life when I’ve been so caught up in so many projects simultaneously and I no longer seem to have a measure of time. It was a Facebook Memory from my archives that made me realize that it was earlier this week that I’d moved to this […]
Drifting Gloomily Through Time
I’ve had yet another difficult week (2024’s theme really does seem to be “personally difficult things”). My mom has what we think is a sciatica flair up. While she claims she’s not like my dad in being stubborn, she very much IS. She refused to actually go to the doctor about it, putting me in […]