Yesterday I had a rather miserable day. It was one of those days that if ONE thing would have been different, it actually would have been really great. I had planned to take a day off and go up to the mountains for an afternoon of snowboarding after seeing there might be some sun in […]
Widowed Memories
Two Old Shoes
I met Eric in early Fall during our senior year of high school, shortly after my folks uprooted me from the heart of the City where I had spent my entire life to that point for the greener pastures of Suburbia. This sudden upheaval disoriented me. Virtually overnight, I was displaced, alone and friendless, living […]
Becoming a Better Partner… to My Home
Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of Lynn and I buying our super sweet, super small, 1950’s “Wonder Years” home. It is in the same neighborhood I grew up in, and a few blocks from my parent’s home, and my elementary and high schools. We bought our home […]
Mourning a Forest
In 2020, my late husband Rich and I purchased a lovely home in a gated community in Southeast Georgia in the quaint and historic city of St. Marys. We weren’t seeking the gated HOA lifestyle, in fact Rich disliked the idea, but we’d found a home with amenities that we’d never be able afford in […]
The flame that burns twice as bright…
I think about this from time to time. “The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long.” ― Lao Tzu, Te-Tao Ching In a number of ways, Mario’s flame really did burn twice as bright, and he certainly fulfilled the half as long part by only making it to age 47. One of […]
Wearing Green Again
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra grief mental load. In fact, when a friend texted me a few days before my anniversary to check in on […]
At night, alone.
I haven’t actually written poetry in decades, but for whatever reason, tonight, I felt this. It popped into my head and I simply typed it out. At night, alone, the quite hum, Computers and all things left undone, A spark, a life, a light gone from. No TV on, No bottles clank, Just memories from […]
Putting You to Rest
A repost! Lately, time has seemed to tick by so fast, mostly during these ‘ber’ months. Something this past weekend made me realize how quickly the twins are growing up and how it just feels like each month is slipping away, yet my mind still takes me back to those early months after Erik passed. […]
The Dreaded Week
Here we are yet again. Another year. Another death anniversary. As this week began, so did the replays. The replays of each day of this week leading up to Erik’s death. The replay of each detail. Each interaction. Each moment. My mind looking for something I might have missed. Running through the what-ifs. Looking, searching, […]
To my Erik,
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if I’m in survival mode. Each day I put on a brave face for the twins […]
Slideshow Selections
This is my last year having a kid in elementary school. Preparations have already begun for the year end celebration at the school. Our school hosts what they call the Fifth Grade Farewell. It’s a day of fun games and activities for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids, their teachers, and […]
The Dark Day
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022 leading to that dark day. It […]