You ever look through photos of your dearly departed and think to yourself, these are it. There will not be any more or any new photos. This is all there is. It can’t just be me, right? But it’s TRUE. I have a finite number of photos of Mario. There’s one actual photo album I […]
Widowed Memories
My Late Partner’s Posthumous Birthdays
Lynn’s birthday was this past week – the 11th birthday since she passed. Wow – I actually had to count it out on my hand a few times just now before I could believe it. (She passed in December 2014… so that makes it 11 years. Is that really right?!) It’s hard to grasp how […]
Thinking of Those
Arriving in Edmonds Tomorrow Remembering Camp Widow Denver Gives Me Hope. I am packing and remembering. I’m recalling a tender conversation with a woman under the stairwell. She drove 18 hours to see if Camp Widow could help her manage the grief. What can possibly help when our person is gone? When facing a […]
The Living Bucketlist
What a world. The twins and I have been on back-to-back trips for the last few months. We recently just got back this past Saturday from a trip to Japan and South Korea and wow, what a trip it was. It was another bucketlist item that Erik and I had. As I continue to travel […]
Death and Holidays
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago, I checked in with my kids about the date. Bringing the calendar to their attention and getting their thoughts […]
Seasonal Awareness
My Awareness Calendar reminds me that April, among other things, contains the Awareness Observances of Adopt a Greyhound Month, Global Volunteer Month, Library Snapshot Month, National Pet Month, and Couple Appreciation Month. This is just a few from a field of 100 plus observances currently on record! But for the purposes of this column, I […]
A long ago sunrise…
I happened to be looking for some old files of work that Mario had done for a client years ago. So I hooked up the old external drive that used to be attached to his computer. I’m sure it’s a little different for everyone, but going through your departed spouses computer files can definitely be […]
Day in Review
On the 4th Year of Re-membering A Day in Review Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff. Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather. Greatly missed by many. A good man. After an online workshop in the morning, I went to the cemetery to find our […]
Things Left Behind
People leave behind an energy. People leave behind ideas. People leave behind accomplishments. People leave behind material things. And people leave behind emotions in others. In the case where someone is highly creative, they also leave behind works of their creativity. In all these ways, death is not final. Throughout history, humans have expressed themselves […]
Fear and Uncertainty
Fear and uncertainty. With countries worldwide trading angry threats, I suddenly feel fearful and uncertain about my future well-being. I struggle to stay focused and calm. Meanwhile, the roiling financial markets and dire warnings of experts and pundits do little to restore my confidence and well-being regarding the future. Recent events have felt like a […]
Sixteen increments of 90 days
= A Very Long Time In just 13 days we arrive at the fourth anniversary of Dan’s death. Recently, I realized that there have been sixteen “90 day increments” since saying goodbye to my beloved. To honor this realization, I reposted my July 14th blog which I wrote exactly 90 days after his death. My […]
8 Ways My Perimenopause Journey Reminds Me of My Grief Journey
Experiencing the Sacred Journey of Perimenopause is reminding me of when I began the Sacred Journey of Grief… 1) The FATIGUE… I’m a runner, used to do several half marathons a year. Since I began the Perimenopause, I suddenly get sooo tired – mentally and emotionally, as well as physically. In the middle of a […]