Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years.
Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders of our kid’s childhoods; magnet alphabet letters, hot wheels cars, and of course nerf bullets. Inside the fridge, I threw out all kinds of expired condiments. Hot sauces and marinades he used to use on a regular basis that I don’t know how to cook with. I found bottles of condiments from Mr. Goodcents sandwiches that were delivered to the house in the days after he died. There were all thrown out with little fanfare.
There were three items in the fridge that gave me pause though.
First, a pickle sized jar of sauerkraut. He loved it, the kids and I hated it. He would heat it up in the microwave so we could all ‘enjoy’ the smell. Then he would tease us all, are you sure you don’t want any???
Second, was a mason jar with his ‘homemade’ chicken wing sauce in it. I say ‘homemade’ in quotes because I’m pretty sure it was just Franks hot sauce and a stick or two of butter melted and whisked together. Sometime in the week or so before he died, he made that sauce and chicken wings. So, I just shoved that mason jar to the back of the fridge and let it be. It may have been a science experiment back there, but it was a piece of him.
Lastly, was a single beer he’d left in the house fridge. Living in the Midwest, we don’t keep our beer in the house fridge. Beer goes in the garage fridge. But in the evenings, if he had a few while cooking or watching tv, he’d move 1 or 2 into the kitchen refrigerator for easy access. That was his beer, a thing he left unfinished. It became another footprint of his existence.
I left these 3 things in the kitchen fridge after I moved everything else into the garage fridge over the weekend. Today, I finally pulled them out before the new model arrived. I threw away the kraut and the sauce without much fanfare. Initially, I was going to pour the beer out. However, a widower friend told me I needed to drink it and toast Tony. So that beer found its way as the first item I placed in the new refrigerator.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll crack it open.
